and the point of this is...?

and the reason you posted it on the "money matters" board is...?

I only got two things from your post:

1. your friends are flakes *or* they don't like you, so they are just trying to get you off the phone

2. you are jealous of people who are married  

cinderin:

and the point of this is...?

and the reason you posted it on the "money matters" board is...?

I only got two things from your post:

1. your friends are flakes *or* they don't like you, so they are just trying to get you off the phone

2. you are jealous of people who are married  

1. Why the *** would I be jealous of a married person? If I were jealous I would be dating people who ask me out. I have declined quite a few people. I am very happy being single tyvm!!

2. These people call me ALL the time but do call me back when their husbands (or chessy version - hubbies) are home. 

Typical for someone on this board not to have a conversation. Most of you people have to be rude.

I truly do not understand women like this....who only call when their so's are not around. It's lame. Funny thing is they think what they are doing is not noticeable. 5 minutes when their spouse is around = a call back as soon as they are not with their spouse.

I don't really talk on phone with friends, that's what texting and emails are for. You're more likely to get replies back faster that way, even if their husbands are right there. I personally wait to have conversations when my husband's not home, I talk more comfortably, if he's sitting next to me it makes me hurry to get off the phone. When I was single and in my 20s, it was different, I have things to do at home and a husband to do things with instead of being on phone gossiping.  It gets worse when you have children I imagine. 

I rarely talk on the phone anymore.  it's mostly texting now, especially to my BF who lives far away in NJ now.  BUT we still have girls nights like when we saw magic mike.  DH knows its important to me as I still let him go out as well occasionally

My husband is my BFF.  If my phone rings and I am hanging out with my BFF, why would I stop?  All my friends are married or engaged.  The way we treat phone calls is pretty universal.  You should date some of those guys you are talking about b/c once someone is married and are enjoying their marriage, they want to spend time with their husband when possible and not talk on the phone.

Of course girl nights are fun but they are planned ahead of time usually and not a random interruption like a phone call.

Also, it sounds like your friends are truthfully just not that into you.  When I know something is important or I haven't talk to someone in a long time, I will make time with DH there or not there.  You are making them a priority and they are making you an option.  

 

Jan8:

My husband is my BFF.  If my phone rings and I am hanging out with my BFF, why would I stop?  All my friends are married or engaged.  The way we treat phone calls is pretty universal.  You should date some of those guys you are talking about b/c once someone is married and are enjoying their marriage, they want to spend time with their husband when possible and not talk on the phone.

Of course girl nights are fun but they are planned ahead of time usually and not a random interruption like a phone call.

Also, it sounds like your friends are truthfully just not that into you.  When I know something is important or I haven't talk to someone in a long time, I will make time with DH there or not there.  You are making them a priority and they are making you an option.  

 

She calls me all the time but when her husband is home forget about talking. And, who calls people to gossip that is over the age of 17? lol

When I was married I would call people regardless of wether my husband was home and I had things to do in the house as well as more than a full-time job.

I do not respond to text or emails. They are too impersonal and annoying. Why have a friendship if you ar going to text like a 12 year old instead of taking five minutes to say hi? I can see texting in cases but to text instead of talking is the problem with people these days.

vpine:

I don't really talk on phone with friends, that's what texting and emails are for. You're more likely to get replies back faster that way, even if their husbands are right there. I personally wait to have conversations when my husband's not home, I talk more comfortably, if he's sitting next to me it makes me hurry to get off the phone. When I was single and in my 20s, it was different, I have things to do at home and a husband to do things with instead of being on phone gossiping.  It gets worse when you have children I imagine. 

I don't care about getting a repy within seconds or faster lol

Why do you feel you have to hurry to get off the phone when he is home? He sounds controlling. That is just weird!!!! You should be able to talk to people in moderation once in a while in front of a spouse unless you or he is the super clingy type.

vlagrl29:

I rarely talk on the phone anymore.  it's mostly texting now, especially to my BF who lives far away in NJ now.  BUT we still have girls nights like when we saw magic mike.  DH knows its important to me as I still let him go out as well occasionally

That makes sense if someone if far away. It could get costly to talk on the phone.

catsareniice1:

Jan8:

My husband is my BFF.  If my phone rings and I am hanging out with my BFF, why would I stop?  All my friends are married or engaged.  The way we treat phone calls is pretty universal.  You should date some of those guys you are talking about b/c once someone is married and are enjoying their marriage, they want to spend time with their husband when possible and not talk on the phone.

Of course girl nights are fun but they are planned ahead of time usually and not a random interruption like a phone call.

Also, it sounds like your friends are truthfully just not that into you.  When I know something is important or I haven't talk to someone in a long time, I will make time with DH there or not there.  You are making them a priority and they are making you an option.  

 

She calls me all the time but when her husband is home forget about talking. And, who calls people to gossip that is over the age of 17? lol

When I was married I would call people regardless of wether my husband was home and I had things to do in the house as well as more than a full-time job.

I do not respond to text or emails. They are too impersonal and annoying. Why have a friendship if you ar going to text like a 12 year old instead of taking five minutes to say hi? I can see texting in cases but to text instead of talking is the problem with people these days.

Of course she calls you all the time when he is not home.  You are an option for her and not a priority.  When she is bored, she will call you.  I honestly cannot blame her.  I think most married people make their spouse a priority.  It is one of the things you do to keep your marriage strong.  

It's nothing personal.  She just wants to spend time with the person she loves.  It's fun for her and she enjoys it.  

Jan8:

catsareniice1:

Jan8:

My husband is my BFF.  If my phone rings and I am hanging out with my BFF, why would I stop?  All my friends are married or engaged.  The way we treat phone calls is pretty universal.  You should date some of those guys you are talking about b/c once someone is married and are enjoying their marriage, they want to spend time with their husband when possible and not talk on the phone.

Of course girl nights are fun but they are planned ahead of time usually and not a random interruption like a phone call.

Also, it sounds like your friends are truthfully just not that into you.  When I know something is important or I haven't talk to someone in a long time, I will make time with DH there or not there.  You are making them a priority and they are making you an option.  

 

She calls me all the time but when her husband is home forget about talking. And, who calls people to gossip that is over the age of 17? lol

When I was married I would call people regardless of wether my husband was home and I had things to do in the house as well as more than a full-time job.

I do not respond to text or emails. They are too impersonal and annoying. Why have a friendship if you ar going to text like a 12 year old instead of taking five minutes to say hi? I can see texting in cases but to text instead of talking is the problem with people these days.

Of course she calls you all the time when he is not home.  You are an option for her and not a priority.  When she is bored, she will call you.  I honestly cannot blame her.  I think most married people make their spouse a priority.  It is one of the things you do to keep your marriage strong.  

It's nothing personal.  She just wants to spend time with the person she loves.  It's fun for her and she enjoys it.  

I suppose. It's just not how I roll.....

I rarely talk on the phone when H is home. I usually wake up a few hours before him, so I'll chat on the phone in another room until he wakes up. My time with DH is limited and I prefer for it to be without distractions. My friends and I can't limit a telephone conversation to 5min, but I feel rushed to get off the phone when H is sitting there. So I'll text or FB chat when H is around. The one exception to this is my Mom; I'll spend hours on the phone with her no matter who is around. Funny cuz when my mom's BF is around, she won't talk for more than 5 min lol. But I get it, her time with him is limited as well.

Most of my female friends are in relationships and they seem to operate the same way. Everytime we have full conversations (like our 1hr+ chats), their SO is not around. And my single friends will actually push me off the phone if I mention that H is home or just woke up. Even when I'm insisting that I'll stay on, they're insisting that I go spend time with him and call them later. It's them who actually got me into the mindset that I should be focusing on DH when he's here.

As for not calling back 5min later or whenever: all of my friends are guilty of this, as am I. We have lives, we gut busy out of nowhere, we get distracted, blah blah. But we're all understanding of this and don't take it personally. Even if we still haven't spoken days or weeks later. We just pick up where we left off. That's what we all love the most about our friendships. It doesn't work for everyone, but it works for me and the women that I'm friends with. I wouldn't trade them for the world!

If you don't like how your friends treat you, then find new friends.

catsareniice1:

Typical for someone on this board not to have a conversation. Most of you people have to be rude.

uh. You seem to have started out this conversation by being rude... Why don't you ask the people who do this to you rather than a bunch of Internet strangers. I'm married and never do this and can't think of a single time a married friend has done this to me. Nor have I heard anyone ever talk about this. 

catsareniice1:

Typical for someone on this board not to have a conversation. Most of you people have to be rude.

uh. You seem to have started out this conversation by being rude... Why don't you ask the people who do this to you rather than a bunch of Internet strangers. I'm married and never do this and can't think of a single time a married friend has done this to me. Nor have I heard anyone ever talk about this. 

catsareniice1:

vpine:

I don't really talk on phone with friends, that's what texting and emails are for. You're more likely to get replies back faster that way, even if their husbands are right there. I personally wait to have conversations when my husband's not home, I talk more comfortably, if he's sitting next to me it makes me hurry to get off the phone. When I was single and in my 20s, it was different, I have things to do at home and a husband to do things with instead of being on phone gossiping.  It gets worse when you have children I imagine. 

I don't care about getting a repy within seconds or faster lol

Why do you feel you have to hurry to get off the phone when he is home? He sounds controlling. That is just weird!!!! You should be able to talk to people in moderation once in a while in front of a spouse unless you or he is the super clingy type.

My husband is my priority when we're at home together, unless it's my mother or emergency and I have to take the call. Texting is more common now, regardless of age, it's easier and quieter and sometimes more convenient to send a text. I don't like to be having long conversations with girl friends about their marriages or work issues while husband is sitting next to me trying to watch tv, make sense?

If I say I'll call someone back in a few minutes and don't until the next day, it's usually because either 1.  I got distracted by the kid yelling/cat puking /mailman knocking etc and forgot or 2. I didn't want to talk to them and am putting it off as long as possible.

ETA:  Actually, I only take phone calls when my DH is home now that I think about it.  Otherwise my toddler screams and tries to climb up my leg.  

 But yeah, I can see why people wouldn't return calls when their spouse is home. I try to make my calls during naptime when DH is at work.  That way I'm not missing out on what little time we get together since we work opposite shifts.  If that makes me lame, so be it.  At least I'm not getting all butt hurt about not being the number #1 priority for all of my friends with families of their own to take care of.

What do you mean you "don't respond to texts or e-mails?"  You post on Internet boards but refuse to communicate electronically with your friends?  Usually, when I am looking to have a long chat with a married friend, I text or e-mail first to make sure it's not a bad time/schedule it for a good time.

LS45:

What do you mean you "don't respond to texts or e-mails?"  You post on Internet boards but refuse to communicate electronically with your friends?  Usually, when I am looking to have a long chat with a married friend, I text or e-mail first to make sure it's not a bad time/schedule it for a good time.

HUH?? I would rather hear a friend or family member's voice and have a real conversation whether it be 5 minutes or 30 minutes. I think texting is stupid unless you can't talk or have a quick question.

I post on internet boards because they are internet boards.

vpine:

catsareniice1:

vpine:

I don't really talk on phone with friends, that's what texting and emails are for. You're more likely to get replies back faster that way, even if their husbands are right there. I personally wait to have conversations when my husband's not home, I talk more comfortably, if he's sitting next to me it makes me hurry to get off the phone. When I was single and in my 20s, it was different, I have things to do at home and a husband to do things with instead of being on phone gossiping.  It gets worse when you have children I imagine. 

I don't care about getting a repy within seconds or faster lol

Why do you feel you have to hurry to get off the phone when he is home? He sounds controlling. That is just weird!!!! You should be able to talk to people in moderation once in a while in front of a spouse unless you or he is the super clingy type.

My husband is my priority when we're at home together, unless it's my mother or emergency and I have to take the call. Texting is more common now, regardless of age, it's easier and quieter and sometimes more convenient to send a text. I don't like to be having long conversations with girl friends about their marriages or work issues while husband is sitting next to me trying to watch tv, make sense?

 An emergency or your mother or you HAVE to take the call? So, you're clingy. I can see making each other a priority but to the point where you can't leave his side for 5 minutes or so when someone calls you is umm....a little weird.

I guess I do most of my talking to friends when DH isn't home, but that's because I am sitting around thinking, hey, haven't talked to X in awhile, I'm gonna call and catch up. When DH is home, we are usually busy doing projects around the house, taking dog for a walk, etc., or just spending time with him. It's not some creepy codependent thing. If a friend called and I was busy, I wouldn't even answer though to be honest. Just let it go to VM and call back later when I have time. I am less available than I used to be in college or grad school. That's just life.

 And I gotta say you are seemingly very hostile about this...I'm a little confused as to why.

Golden42:

I guess I do most of my talking to friends when DH isn't home, but that's because I am sitting around thinking, hey, haven't talked to X in awhile, I'm gonna call and catch up. When DH is home, we are usually busy doing projects around the house, taking dog for a walk, etc., or just spending time with him. It's not some creepy codependent thing. If a friend called and I was busy, I wouldn't even answer though to be honest. Just let it go to VM and call back later when I have time. I am less available than I used to be in college or grad school. That's just life.

 And I gotta say you are seemingly very hostile about this...I'm a little confused as to why.

I agree.

vpine:

Golden42:

I guess I do most of my talking to friends when DH isn't home, but that's because I am sitting around thinking, hey, haven't talked to X in awhile, I'm gonna call and catch up. When DH is home, we are usually busy doing projects around the house, taking dog for a walk, etc., or just spending time with him. It's not some creepy codependent thing. If a friend called and I was busy, I wouldn't even answer though to be honest. Just let it go to VM and call back later when I have time. I am less available than I used to be in college or grad school. That's just life.

 And I gotta say you are seemingly very hostile about this...I'm a little confused as to why.

I agree.

I admit I am. I can see making your partner your priority or if you're busy or too tired calling back later. But to not take a friend's call unless it is an emergency I find odd. When I was married and a friend called I would not dodge the call. I probably wouldn't talk as long. Also, I wasn't by my husband side the entire time we had together. I would call back when I wasn't with him watching tv or whatever.

Maybe you would still be married if you hadn't been on the phone with your friends all the time instead of hanging out with your husband.

I also am not understanding your post.

Sometimes I answer the phone and sometimes I don't.  There isn't a rhyme or reason to it. 

I am constantly texting with my friends around DH, but I won't talk on the phone around him. Like PP said, I just feel more comfortable talking on the phone when I'm alone. I also don't talk on the phone in public. Texting my friends while I'm with DH gives me the freedom to carry on multiple conversations at the same time. I can talk to my girl friend about getting my hair done, and at the same time can have a serious conversation about current events with my husband. It also gives me the ability to "leave" the conversation with my friend, if need be. I just won't reply to her text right away. She understands that I'm married and that my husband comes before her. Maybe you should give the same credit to your married friends. If my mother or sister called, I would probably chat with them for a little while, but also like PP have said, I am very busy when I'm home- doing housework, cooking, etc. so talking on the phone is not a priority of mine.

So if you don't respond to texts or emails, you're only giving your friends 1 way to communicate with you.  And it has to be your way and your way only?  That seems pretty shady if you ask me.

My time with DH is very limited because we both work alot.  And we also have a toddler so when we are both home, we're focused on spending time with one another and as a family.  Most of the time I know that if a friend calls, it's probably not going to be a 5 minute conversation.  So that's why I either dodge the call until I'm alone (and able to focus completely on friend) or really make it a 5 minute talk where basically we cover the small talk and not get into anything that's really happening in our lives, which I find pointless.

I'm kind of thinking that maybe if you had done the same thing, you might still be married now.   

Lol I havent just sat around and chatted on the phone for long periods of time since high school.  i usually dont have much to say that cant be said in a few minutes.  if i were talking already and my friend said they had to go...if there was something important id address it quickly and not expect a call right back.  it kinda sounds like you are the codependent needy friend more than the husband being controlling.  i think its rude to sit next to someone and.be on the phone for a Long time talking about nothing  no matter who it is.  my husband wouldnt care but i would feel rude. and really there isnt anyone in the world id rather talk to than my husband so yes id end a phone call to spend time with him. it seems as though you expect ypur friends to fill in where your lack of a mate should be if you want someone to chat with all the time then id suggest.a husband because thats who we would rather be talking to.