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11-25-2012 at 9:08 PM
JeztersPri...
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JeztersPrincess is not online. Last active: 11-25-2012, 9:18 PMNewbie

Hello.

Thought I would give an intro. :) Then I have a question. 

Me and DH have been married for 2 months today. I'm 21, he's 22. I just applied for college, he has a degree in Graphic Design. We both have steady jobs, though I'm working on switching as I'm unhappy at my current. And we both live with my brother and his 2 kids helping him out as he is a single father with full custody of his children.

 The reason I chose this forum to post in is because I can relate.  Back in June, while we were still engaged, we found out I was pregnant, then I miscarried. Then, the week of our wedding, we found out I was pregnant again, but I ended up have surgery because it was an ectopic (tubal) pregnancy. After the second failed pregnancy, DH and I decided our best option would be to wait a few years to have kids, and I went and got the Mirena put in, as my Dr highly recommended it was the best choice for my situation. 

We have not told his family we are waiting (I'm very close with my family, and they already know I went to get Mirena put in), and his family keeps asking when we are going to start, as his parents want a granddaughter since they have two grandsons already from my SIL.

 So my question is this: When and how should I tell his family (more specific my ILs) that we are planning to wait a while for kids?


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11-26-2012 at 7:26 PM
RegallyBlo...
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RegallyBlonde is not online. Last active: 12-27-2012, 11:57 PMNewbie

Hi,

I think, next time it come sup in conversation just tell them 'We are planning to wait a few years, until we are more settled, financially independent, finished school etc. just be honest and let them know that you have a plan for your lives together. That's how I stopped my Mum from asking me all the time (married 2.5 weeks) I just told her that DH and I have a plan to buy a house, travel and then we will decide if we want to have children.


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11-26-2012 at 10:43 PM
hesakeeper
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hesakeeper is not online. Last active: 06-15-2013, 9:22 AMBronze
You have to be honest with them. By telling them you're waiting they MIGHT stop pestering you with questions about when you're going to start having kids. Some families don't let that stop them, but hopefully your ILs will respect your decision and leave you alone.
 
11-27-2012 at 2:31 PM
RevJen
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Joined on 03-13-2007
Sussex Co, NJ
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RevJen is not online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:34 AMPlatinum

You don't.  It's none of their business when you have sex.  And when they ask when you're going to start trying to conceive, they're basically asking if you have sex.

It's none of their business.  When you're ready, you're ready.  You don't need to live by their arbitrary timelines.



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11-28-2012 at 10:29 PM
pockysquir...
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pockysquirrel is online. Last active: 06-19-2013, 9:56 AMNewbie
If the issue is with your husband's family, he should be the one running interference and taking the pressure off you. Let him take his parents aside and explain to them that you don't plan on trying for awhile. I think it would be more comfortable for everyone involved. I love my in-laws dearly, but I can't imagine having to have a conversation with them about what is or isn't going on in my uterus! :P

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