Sounds like a lot of emotion bottled up in there!
Just want to address a couple things.
1. You are offended because he didnt tell you you were pretty at a party? Really? My H doesnt tell me I am pretty as much as I would like, but I don't lose sleep over it. Clearly you two have different love langauges and you need the verbal affirmation. He might not realize that, have a conversation about how it makes you feel when you here more negative then positive, and then do the same to him (build him up, tell him hes hott on a random day ect). He may learn that thats important to you.
2. You are more worried about hurting other people then you are worried about your own relationship or hurting your self or your husband. That is no way to approach any decision in a marraige or about ending one. You and your husband need to start talking to each other about what it would take to save it vs. what is pushing to you end it.
If you can't put each other first then its time to walk away, this is one of the reasons I dislike when people write personal vows, often times its always about how the person makes them feel (loved etc)..not saying that you did, but the traditional vows are pretty clear that we are to charish, honor and respect our partner no matter how we feel..positive or negative, and thats when most marraiges start to break down, when one or both sides stop putting the other first.
Regardless of how his mom or other people feel, you need to take care of you and decide if this relationship is worth continuing to invest in,