Here is my take on it, and I may be way off. So feel free to disagree.

Some people like it, others do not. As long as he isn't watching child porn or any weird fettishes, I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Be open with him about it. Let him know that you do not like it, but it is his choice as long as it isn't weird stuff.  Also let him know that you don't want this to affect your sex life.

Here is my opinion and it might be very different from other's on here:

He is your husband and should respect you and your feelings. If it makes you uncomfortable, he should stop. And hiding it from you doesn't make it any better.

My opinion is that if it bothers you, it is a big deal. I think you should talk to your H openly about it, if nothing else to understand what the reason for watching porn is, then move accordingly.

I'll be honest, I think that an apparently happily married man who continues to stare at naked women behind his wife's back has to have *some* issues that need attention. Just my opinion though. 

I understand the reason for porn in the context of couples that want to explore their eroticism; a man that perpetuates the habit and hides it, not so much.  

edited a word  

brij2006:

Here is my take on it, and I may be way off. So feel free to disagree.

Some people like it, others do not. As long as he isn't watching child porn or any weird fettishes, I wouldn't get too worked up about it. Be open with him about it. Let him know that you do not like it, but it is his choice as long as it isn't weird stuff.  Also let him know that you don't want this to affect your sex life.

I feel like this is more of a "respecting your spouses feelings" issue than a porn issue.

in my personal opinion you might need to be willing to compromise on this one.

It's wrong that he continues to do this behind your back and is trying to hide it, but I don't necessarily think it's so wrong to look at porn.

Sit down and have a conversation where you aren't approaching the subject in an accusatory way...if you're not able to come up with a solution on your own, seek counselling.

It sounds like for the most part you two are happy together and there's just this one quirk. If your sex life was suffering I'd be worried, but it's possible he just loves looking at porn and has a really high sex drive...it doesn't make you any less attractive and you should really have more confidence in yourself. Your husband loved you enough to marry you and if he's still showing sexual interest in you I think you're overreacting to this all. 

At work?  He's looking at porn on his lunch breaks at work?

Ew.

I agree with this. 

yeah and the kicker is that I confronted him about it and while we did come to a solution I asked him if he would want to watch it with me and he said it' s to weird. cause you know watching it at work isn't. lol

Thank you. I confronted him about it and we came to an agreement that he would stop, and if he ever looked at it again (because he has done this before) he would tell me about it and not keep it from me.

mommaburke2010:

Thank you. I confronted him about it and we came to an agreement that he would stop, and if he ever looked at it again (because he has done this before) he would tell me about it and not keep it from me.

 I really think you're setting yourself up for failure on this one. You've essentially given him a loophole. He's going to continue doing it because he likes/wants to and he will only tell you about it if he gets caught.

I sort of think it's asinine that you're okay with him watching porn with you, but it's NOT okay for him to like doing it alone (your judgment of him is probably WHY he does it at work, he can't do it at home or he risks making you uncomfortable). If you seriously have such a problem with it, maybe you should reconsider the relationship. IMHO so long as he's not physically cheating, you should probably just let him have his less than savory "hobby".

I also will reiterate that it might not be the worst idea to seek counselling. You really haven't come up with a solution. This WILL happen again and you WILL be just as frustrated or more so the next time. 

So you honestly believed him when he told you that he had no idea how the porn got onto his phone in the first place? I'd love to be on the drugs you must be taking.  It's not the porn watching that is alarming. It's that A.)he has been lying to you on a consistent basis, and B.)he's doing this at work (which is disgusting and probably in violation of a couple code of conduct rules).  His actions clearly indicate that he is going to continue doing this behind your back and is going to continue to lie about it. Also, that he's being so secretive is also fishy, as if he wants it to be a deep dark secret. I don't personally believe that porn watching = cheating but it honestly does sound like that's the direction he's heading in. And if you believe for even half a second that he ever stopped watching porn because you asked him to, you are deluding yourself. He never stopped, he just deleted things right after he watched them.

I think you're setting yourself up to fail here, and him as well. He's lying to you and hiding it from you, but why? Are you making it difficult for him to be honest with you? In his mind, he could be doing something that is a very normal outlet that many, many people also find perfectly normal, but you don't so he is banned from looking at any kind of porn unless it is specifically with you, even in private, on his private phone and it is not affecting you in any way.

That just seems overkill to me. If he was paying for porn and it was hurting you financially, I could see it. If he was addicted to porn, getting freaky or he was no longer interested in having sex with you over it, I could see the problem. If he was spending all of his free time holed up in front of the computer looking at or watching porn instead of spending any time with you, going to work, spending time with the kiddo, doing other things, etc., I could see the problem. Even if your bedroom floor had turned into a wet sock graveyard of shame, I could see it.

But the guy has a couple of porn sites and pics on his phone (um, because he obviously can't have it on any shared device or at home because you snoop through his stuff and don't trust him - side eye). I don't think that's a big deal. And if it is such a huge deal to you, you probably shouldn't have married the guy. And he shouldn't have married you.

When I was younger my boyfriend watching porn really bothered me. I've grown out of that insecurity, thank god, and understand that him watching porn is not a reflection on me.

Just my opinion, but I think you will be a lot happier if you ease up and let this go. What else are you going to do? Divorce over this?

I want to second what Tofu said.

Unless you have never read a harliquinn type romance novel, or watched a chick-flick, then you are hypocritical.

YOU do not like porn because "because it made me feel like I wasn't enough for him" is no different than reading about the perfect man in the perfect romance working towards that perfect happily ever after.

He can never equal those men...just like you can never equal the porn start.  The difference is, your pedestal is about the entirety of a relationship, it incorporates EVERY aspect, from the sex to the communication to the commitment, his is just abuot the sex.

If this has NOT affected your sex life....then why is it a problem?  Have you read the "Fifty Shades of Gray" series???  How is that any different?  Really...that is SO EXACTLY the same thing!  Men are visual creatures.

If this has not affected your sex life then I don't understand why you are so worried.  I know my boyfriend watches porn on occasion...it doesn't bother me.  If he were looking at erotic pictures of his ex...or someone he was seeing behind my back--THAT would be a problem.

If this starts to become an issue during sex...that can be a sign of porn addiction.  Otherwise....It kinda sounds like he is a normal dude.

Any feelings that "you are not enough" are really YOUR OWN.  I think that you forbiding porn for him is going to fail....big time.

Sorry to sound so harsh....just my thoughts