normally I'm all for fake it til you make it with sex. But when i was in my first tri, I had no sex drive and really really didn't feel well. When I got into my second tri, my libido came back, so eh. I think he could probably wait a few more weeks, but if it's a big issues and you're not feeling ill, maybe go for a quick romp.

I don't think many people ever actually regret having sex with their partners when the relationship is good.

What you're experiencing is a hormonal issue. This too will pass. Not common to not be in the mood at all during pregnancy.

Your bigger problem is your douchey H:

Well, a couple days ago he didn't freak out on me per say, but got super pissy when I denied him again. He started ranting about how we haven't done anything for over a month and that he didn't think it would be like this. He brought up a lot of things that I didn't even really notice, that not even just sex, that I don't cuddle at night anymore, and in general we are more distant with each other. I told him to just wait another few weeks, and I'm going to start feeling better and this will probably change. He accepted my answer but wasn't too happy with it.

He needs to understand that yours is a hormones due to pregnancy thing and he also needs to grow up. 

If he doesn't know the hormonal whys and wherefores how pregnancy hormones can indeed kill a libido, he needs to learn about them, and stat. 

IWOW --- what's he going to do when the kiddo comes along and you're dead on your feet from attending to the baby all day long and the last thing you want is sex with your H???

Nip this in the bud NOW.  If he exhibits this kind of behavior again, insist on counseling for the both of you.

TarponMonoxide:

What you're experiencing is a hormonal issue. This too will pass. Not common to not be in the mood at all during pregnancy.

Your bigger problem is your douchey H:

Well, a couple days ago he didn't freak out on me per say, but got super pissy when I denied him again. He started ranting about how we haven't done anything for over a month and that he didn't think it would be like this. He brought up a lot of things that I didn't even really notice, that not even just sex, that I don't cuddle at night anymore, and in general we are more distant with each other. I told him to just wait another few weeks, and I'm going to start feeling better and this will probably change. He accepted my answer but wasn't too happy with it.

He needs to understand that yours is a hormones due to pregnancy thing and he also needs to grow up. 

If he doesn't know the hormonal whys and wherefores how pregnancy hormones can indeed kill a libido, he needs to learn about them, and stat. 

IWOW --- what's he going to do when the kiddo comes along and you're dead on your feet from attending to the baby all day long and the last thing you want is sex with your H???

Nip this in the bud NOW.  If he exhibits this kind of behavior again, insist on counseling for the both of you.

All of this, 100%.

Also, he needs to man up and fast. Very soon another little life will be taking over. Every need, want and demand for that little monster has to be met before anyone else's. Throw a bottle of lube at him and a magazine. He sounds like an a$$. 

I am guessing the douchey H in question is young 20s. Age is partly the reason why he's being so childish and selfish -- but still, nip this in the bud now. He needs to get it that pregnancy changes everything and so does having a kiddo.

Your time, and your H's, no longer will solely belong to just the 2 of you.

He needs to get that and get it now. He does it again, counseling stat.

I'm not a fan of "fake it till you make it."  I don't really feel like lying to my husband or trying to enjoy sex when I'm not into it.  My husband always knows if I'm not into it and then we both just end up feeling badly.  I'm just honest with him: "Not tonight, okay?"  Luckily, I married an adult!

I agree that sex is important, but so is being pregnant.  You don't feel well and you're growing his child - that should count for something.  But, if he can't understand that, then I think you have bigger problems on the horizon.

I would say give him a little something if you are not feeling too sick or anything. A little can go a long way and it sounds like he is feeling a little rejected. I know in my 1st trimester I didnt even really want to be touched but now I want full oout affection constantly from my DH, gotta love hormones! Lol But in my 1st trimester I think my DH felt a little rejected and that was the last thing I wanted him to feel. Both of you have to give a little here and over a month is a long time to go without affection of some sort.

Thanks for the responses. Maybe I made it sound worse than how I interpret it? I don't think it's an issue that needs counseling or anything. I would even say that I am mostly at fault here because I know if he acted the way I am towards him I would probably feel a bit hurt. 

 

dreadiemama:

Thanks for the responses. Maybe I made it sound worse than how I interpret it? I don't think it's an issue that needs counseling or anything. I would even say that I am mostly at fault here because I know if he acted the way I am towards him I would probably feel a bit hurt. 

yeah so when he get s pregnant and his hormones are a wreck youll be understanding.

it amazes me how men who are going to be fathers arent intelligent enough to understand what a pregnancy does to a womans body.

dreadiemama:

Thanks for the responses. Maybe I made it sound worse than how I interpret it? I don't think it's an issue that needs counseling or anything. I would even say that I am mostly at fault here because I know if he acted the way I am towards him I would probably feel a bit hurt. 

 

Look you are blaming yourself for his bad behavior. You need to stop doing that ASAP. He is being an a$$, next time tell him that. I can't stand it when pregnant woman are made to feel like they should be doing more for the spouse. It's BS, pregnancy isn't fun for you so it stands to reason it won't be fun for him.

 

MLE2010:

dreadiemama:

Thanks for the responses. Maybe I made it sound worse than how I interpret it? I don't think it's an issue that needs counseling or anything. I would even say that I am mostly at fault here because I know if he acted the way I am towards him I would probably feel a bit hurt. 

 

Look you are blaming yourself for his bad behavior. You need to stop doing that ASAP. He is being an a$$, next time tell him that. I can't stand it when pregnant woman are made to feel like they should be doing more for the spouse. It's BS, pregnancy isn't fun for you so it stands to reason it won't be fun for him.

 

That fact that your DH doesn't get this is ming boggling. Not all men stomp around like babies b/c they aren't getting any from their pg wives, some have compassion and understanding. I really hate when woman act like men are primitive morons that need sex to survive. Stop blaming yourself and tell him to get over it. 

dreadiemama:

Thanks for the responses. Maybe I made it sound worse than how I interpret it? I don't think it's an issue that needs counseling or anything. I would even say that I am mostly at fault here because I know if he acted the way I am towards him I would probably feel a bit hurt. 

 

Oi.  Bigger problems it is.

How did he actually say these things to you? I think it's good that he is communicating with you about how he feels, and that his feelings on this are just as valid as yours are. I agree though, to point out to him that pregnancy is playing with your hormones and things won't always be like this, but I'd also make a point to be more affectionate. He is dealing with this pregnancy and impending fatherhood in his own way as well and needs affection - which he said could be just things like cuddling - doesn't have to be sexual.

This probably is directly opposite of any other advice you get...but here I go...

I think that a total lack of sex probably sucks for him and my advice?  If you are not experiencing any health issues that 'prevent' sex....then you might have to fake it along until your drive comes back  (as others have said....it will probably return in the next few weeks)

I would say--fake it.   Keep it quick and simple and make is all about him. (do everything you can to make him finish quickly.)   This gives him some release and it keeps the sex (though probably far less frequently) going on between the two of you.  No...you might not find yourself having mind-blowing orgasms....but it probably won't be all that bad either.

I know that I am in my second Trimester and my sex drive picked up considerably. 

Hang in there!  You will begin to feel better soon :)