To address some of the questions...
It's not gay porn.
Why did I marry him? I love him. I didn't expect getting married to magically change things
I appreciate the input as hard to hear as it has been
Oh, I'm sure you loved him and that's why you married him.
The question is why did he bother to marry you if he wasn't going to provide for you in all ways, including in the bedroom?
The horse is out of the barn.:( What's important is that you address the problem and then get a solution that satifies you.
Put yourself first. He can't give you a bunch of "I'll try harder" or "gee honey I don't know why I won't have sex with you" -- he needs to meet your needs, no questions asked.
And if he cannot do that, then you take it from there.
Also: If you are religious, perhaps speak to your clergy person: he or she will tell you "Forsaking all others" means that you come first in every way, no questions asked.
You might also want to bounce this issue off a sex therapist. Something had to happen when the disconnect with sex began to happen --- or, like I said, it's very possible that when the sex started to dry up, the relationship was, also.