Money Matters

Credit score went down?

tinydancer842 — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 00:18:01 GMT

So in January DH & I applied to have our credit limit raised on our credit card. We pay off our credit card every single month, never late, etc. We just wanted to build our credit.When we were being approved for a higher cc limit they ran our credit and our scores were 740/733 respectively.

We were pre-approved in March for a mortgage, but since then we decided to use another lender b/c of the better rates/lower bank fees. However, when the new lender pulled our credit and it went down to 727/717 - Why would this happen? Is it because we raised our credit limit/were pre-approved by another lender? He said he didn't see anything of concern when he pulled it.

Just annoyed because this means we don't qualify for a lower interest rate (with our old credit scores we'd qualify for 3.875% - now it's at 4%).

Any ideas?

Credit Card Question

amoosed — Sat, 05 May 2012 01:28:29 GMT

Does opening a new credit/charge card negatively impact your credit score? I'm having a debate with the SO- I think it doesn't FYI.

Difference in credit scores

Milsey32 — Wed, 09 May 2012 13:55:28 GMT

DH and I have been using creditsesame.com (they provide you with your Experian credit score).

I know that your credit report displays 3 different scores. How should I accommodate the difference in scores?

Like, if my score is 700 (luckily it's higher) - should I "assume" the two other scores are lower? And if so, how much lower?

*We'd like to consider house hunting in the future and obviously your credit is a factor in approvals. If I want to set a 'goal credit score' for myself, how much higher should it be than my 'minimum goal credit score'.

Example: Out of the 3 scores, if I want a minimum score of 700, how high should I get my creditsesame/Experian score to feel comfortable enough to start looking for houses?

Sorry this sounds so confusing.

Has anyone had health insurance refuse to pay for a procedure

ninasc — Sun, 29 Jan 2012 21:19:53 GMT

because they don't think it is "medically necessary"? What did you do?

I should mention the procedure has already been done so either we convince the insurance to cover it or we pay for it ourselves. If we have to pay for it ourselves, can the amount be negotiated with the Dr?

Is this something I need to try arguing with insurance myself or something the Dr's office should handle since they preformed the procedure in the first place (and considered it necessary).

Mortgage question

karinothing — Sat, 05 May 2012 12:54:55 GMT

Okay, stupid questions:

1. How did you find a lender?

2. Can someone explain fees in APR to me? I am looking at bankrate.com and they say this

Payment: $2,499

Fees in APR: $1,428

Is the fees in APR a monthly fee that would be tacked on to the payment?

3. Do the bankrate calculations include PMI? Or is that included in the Fees in APR.

Finally, I tried to google this but found it confusing. Please explain to me like I am 5!

Thank you

Mortgage company recommendations?

dollhouse — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 15:18:30 GMT

I am looking into buying a condo by the end of this year. I know I need a pre-approval letter first. Any idea on how to find a mortgage company? any suggestions and tips?

Thanks!

insurance and someone driving your car

ijack — Tue, 08 May 2012 17:25:15 GMT

our nanny doesn't have a car, she bikes everywhere, but I'm trying to figure out the logistics of her borrowing one of our cars during the summer to give her (and the girls) a little more variety in things they do. What do I need to consider as far as insurance goes? Do I need to insure her or add her to our policy? Or is the car covered under our policy regardless?

Not MM-- opinion on nusery colors

NewlyWeds13 — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:20:18 GMT

So we did a gender neutral room for our son (was a surprise) and now at 2.5, we are painting his room blue as I just don't care for the green and he wants to do trains, etc.

We are expecting a girl this time and I picked out this fabric...

http://www.etsy.com/listing/77903427/custom-baby-crib-bedding-setcrib-bumper

A crib sheet, lamp shade, changing pad cover, throw pillow for the chair, and valances will be in the zoology print (ie the gray one with the pink & white animals on it) with either a solid lighter pink or solid lighter gray border. There will be a breathable crib bumper in solid pink. the crib skirt will either be solid pink or solid gray. the rug either solid pink or solid gray.

The room is somewhat large (20 x 18) and has 4 large windows so it is not dark in there. All of the trim is white. It has hardwood floors that are lighter than the espresso furniture, but not super light. the furniture is espresso (was from my son, otherwise would have bought white as I think it would have looked better).

So the question is... would you paint the walls light gray and then do the solid pink crib skirt & trim for the other stuff and solid pink rug OR would you pain the walls lighter pink and do the solid gray rug & trim for the other stuff and solid gray crib skirt?

I am leaning towards pink walls and gray trim on the valances, etc and rug because I am guessing she might prefer the pink walls when she gets to pick out her big girl room when she is 4 or so over gray and I would love to not have to paint again, but I think the gray walls would be more pleasing to me:)

What do you think and why?

TIA

Car Insurance- Would you carry collision?

jen2929 — Sun, 06 May 2012 15:45:45 GMT

Hi all!

I am trying to reduce my car insurance bills, but don't want to put myself at risk. We currently pay $695 for three cars. We paid my car off a few months ago, and I was wondering if I should drop collision for that vehicle....its an extra $118! Thoughts? Do you carry collision on a car that is paid off?

P.S. Its a 2005 Audi A4 with 92K miles.

Update and may DD the "husband hobby" post below

Nonobug — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:39:04 GMT

Well, we did talk about things last night, and hopefully came up with some sort of resolution.

I told DH that his running is getting to be obsessive, and taking time away from our family, and that I am not jealous of his running partner, but I am uncomfortable with the amount of time he spends with her vs. me. He seemed to listen, but always makes his case that there is nothing for me to worry about and he is always open/honest about making plans and always asks me first and runs things by me before they go on our family calendar. He leaves his phone open all the time and shows me their texts/calls and 100% of the time, they are about running, races, times, and PR stuff.

I also said that when he does ask me about long runs, I automatically say yes, sure, go ahead....because if I say no, not a good idea, it turns into a battle every single time. I explained that I *should* be able to say no, today is not a good time to be gone for 3-4 hours, maybe do a short run near our house and tackle X,Y,Z project together after. I think that is reasonable.

The interesting part about this is that every single running friend of his sounds like the poster (forgot her name) that is all....."I am a RUNNER, it's who I am! Don't ever ask me to stop doing things I love for my kids or my spouse!" and that is what my husband is turning into....and I do resent it. :( Maybe that's not the best attitude, but I don't have a sport/hobby that takes me away from home for 7-10 hours a week. I am lucky to get to the gym 2-3 times a week for an hour each time, on my days off, and with kids with me. I also do a movie night with a friend once a month. Those are my escapes, and it's not about tit for tat, but when I am doing the lions share of a lot of things so that DH can "be a runner" it gets old, quickly. I don't begrudge the running part, I just feel that you cannot place a sport or hobby ABOVE your priorities at home. There was a couple that I knew (friends of my parents) where the DH was an obsessive athlete, and ran and biked and did marathons, and the wife was always home, cooking dinner, watching kids, and doing chores. I don't want to be that couple. I feel like we are leading into that slippery slope, and wanted to address it before it gets out of control.

Thanks for all the advice, I did go through and read each reply. And I did tell my DH that I don't want to be the "stupid woman" six months from now whose husband is having an affair, and he said that my fear is probably warranted because he does spend so much time with her....and he will stop running exclusively with Ms.X. He said he would still like to train with her on occasion, but if it is getting to be too much, then he will step back and listen to my concerns. I think that is fair for now.

I am not completely 100% with everything, but I am also not in the dark and feeling like I cannot say anything.

NMR WWYD?(Party Scheduling)

MrsBeagle — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:31:31 GMT

My best friend's batchelorette party is the first weekend in June. That date has been set for months. Due to the bridal party being spread out and for cost reasons, we are "splitting the difference" and having it at her cousin's house in CT, a 3 1/2 hour drive from here.

I just got an email that my MIL's retirement party is that Friday at 6pm, and my nephew's 2nd bday party is that Saturday.

I'd prefer to drive up with people and to go up on Friday so I'm not driving long distances 2 days in a row.

I'm thinking I will go to the retirement dinner and the go up to CT and miss the birthday party. This means that I'll probably have to drive up alone. Does that make me a crappy aunt?

Would you do the same in this situation or something different?

Update on MILs memorial

dvlish — Wed, 09 May 2012 16:00:39 GMT

Well, it went surprisingly well. My sis was able to change her plans and stay with DD so she could have her nap. SIL was all disappointed that she wasn't at the service but whatever...she would have run around outside and not actually sat in the service anyways. My sis brought her to the dinner afterward so everyone could meet her which worked out because she was happy and friendly and not cranky from no nap. This made DH happy which makes me happy.:)

We are still baffled as to why she changed the time, cancelled the church reception and changed the "dinner with the family later that night" into the reception but whatever. It turned out nice. It seems she just needed some drama for the sake of drama. She was even all shocked that we had ordered the large flower arrangements for the church to then leave for them as a donation in her mother's name for their Sunday service...umm, yes that's what you do and you did ask DH to plan things. Had she bothered to talk or communicate with him when she decided she would rather do it b/c he "wasn't capable of planning a respectful service", blah, blah, blah... she would have known what he already took care of. I found her surprise at the flowers to be very amusing for some reason. She made some big deal about being so shocked someone sent them and were they truly for them, etc. It was a big production asking everyone about them, again, drama for the sake of drama where there doesn't need to be any. It's just wierd to me.

She also did a program that turned out nice which was good b/c I was very worried about us not doing one and the issue that would have been created had we done one without her input, or not done one when she was expecting one, it was a lose, lose. But, she took care of it so that was good. It is a nice momento with their mom's shortened life story that I will put away for the kids to have one day.

All in all, it is different than what we would have arranged but DH was pleased with how it turned out and appreciative of her efforts and told her so. All of her family was also appreciative of it as their mother was a very difficult person and attending at all was tough for most of them. DH gave a very honest and respectful eulogy and that seemed to cut the tension and allow everyone to relax for the rest of the time together. I was a bit worried that things would be very awkward after all the drama but DH took the lead and made sure all was well. Personally I can take or leave SIL after all of this but will make an effort for DH so as not to cause any future issues...we definitely won't be event planning together any time soon though:)

The only issue I had was that there was no consideration given for a couple of the mother's friends who were older and couldn't travel to the reception. Not having it at the church made it impossible for them to take part which bothered me since they were so noticibly upset and would have benefited from some time with the family I think. But DH made it a point to spend some time with them, walk them out, etc. So it worked out fine I guess. I just felt bad for them.

We got everyone together the next day for breakfast so DH could treat since he didn't get to do that for dinner and that seemed to work out fine too.

All in all, we got a lovely few days away with the kids who travelled suprisingly well. Had a lovely service honoring the memory of his mother. Got to spend some time with his family and generally had a nice weekend away. Win, win.

Thanks for all the advice, comments and words of encouragement last week. I can always count on the MMers to be honest and helpful.;)

s/o What's the most expensive wedding or baby/bridal shower you have ever attended?

sunnysideupeggs — Wed, 09 May 2012 04:14:13 GMT

Even if it's likely that you don't know how much the host spent on the event, give your best ballpark $$$ and tell us about the most expensive or extravagent wedding or baby/ bridal shower you have attended.

Cubicle or office clicky poll.

CrackHabit — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:05:14 GMT

bored.[Please visit the site to access the poll]

@@@Happy Hump Day TTC Check In@@@

notquiteblushing — Wed, 09 May 2012 13:40:00 GMT

Happy Hump Day, the Mother's Day edition! Sending all our good vibes to Peggy Olsen for her ultrasound today. Anyone get lucky this week?

1. Where are you in your cycle or TTC journey?

2. Any news/AWs/vents to share?

3. QOTW: What are you doing for Mother's Day? What do you wish you were doing instead?

As always, feel free to ask any TTC related questions here. All are welcome and encouraged to post.

Sofa shopping advice, please.

FriskyPanda — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:37:26 GMT

We need a new sofa. I've saved about $700 specifically for living room furniture. I expect to be able to earmark another $500-800 in the next few weeks. Originally, my plan was to replace a love seat with a a couple of chairs, but the couch is on its last leg. If I spend everything on a new sofa, the chair(s) will still be a plan for the future.

I've checked out (online) Ikea, Ethan Allen and Thomasville. Ikea is the most affordable with the longest warranty, but EA frame is hardwood. EA seems to have a reputation for poor customer service, and Thomasville, while seemingly having good customer service, has the shortest warranty of the bunch.

There is a fairly large furniture store nearby that I will probably check out, but have a feeling anything there will be overpriced. Used furniture is not an option because H is worried about bedbugs.

So, what would you do? Where did you get your sofa/LR furniture and are you happy? Would it be crazy to buy an Ikea couch? It would be the most affordable, and have the longest warranty-I just have a hard time accepting that the quality is something I'd want.

Is your H weird?

hannamarin — Wed, 09 May 2012 01:37:42 GMT

Brie said her H microwaves ice cream. Odd.

My H couldnt find His wedding ring anywhere this morning. He went to work without it. Mid morning, I found it in the freezer! I called him. He laughed. It was NOT an accident. He forgot he put it there to see what it would feel like. Last week he made a candle out of babybel wax and a kleenex.

I got a second interview!

steph96 — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:46:43 GMT

I got an email that they want me to come back for a second interview at the company I had the horrible phone interview with!!! So I guess it is sort of more like a third interview? YAY!!!!! I tried calling back to set up an interview, but she was out of the office.

Is it okay to ask which job/person I am interviewing with? I was initially interviewed by 2 different people for 2 positions, so it could be for either.

Can I wear the same skirt suit with a different top? My interviewers actually complimented me on my outfit last time, so I don't know if they will remember it or care if I wear the same one.

Is it okay to wear an engagement ring (YAY!!!)? It is slightly less than a carat, but it is super sparkly.

How will the interview questions differ? If it is different people, will they likely ask the same questions as the other interview?

Law school poll: should these people drop out?

+v+ — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:50:07 GMT

What are MM's thoughts?

http://abovethelaw.com/2012/05/should-you-drop-out-of-law-school-an-atl-debate/

1L:

I am a 1L finishing my first year at [a school ranked between #50 #100 by U.S. News that is located in a major metropolitan area]. I have a scholarship for roughly 50% provided I stay in the top half of my class. The problem is my first semester grades are not stellar (Bs and B-’s) and I’m not sure I will maintain my scholarship. Should I drop out? I am only now really contemplating what it meant when everyone really emphatically told me not to go to law school.

I have about $15,000 in loans from this year. I live at home so that helped minimize how much I had to take out. The huge increase in loans for the private school is one of my main concerns for staying in school if I lose my scholarship. If I drop out, I get a six-month grace period until I have to start repaying them.

It’s never been my dream to be a lawyer, but I went to law school under the impression it would be a positive career move. When I did my cost-benefit analysis on going, it involved being at the top of my class. Now that I’m not, should I continue? Is it worth it? If I do, do you have any advice on what to do next? I really appreciate any and all advice.

2L:

I’m considering dropping out of [negative commentary redacted] (Ohio Northern) at the end of my 2nd year. I have an internship lined up in a county family court for the summer, and no leads on employment when I graduate. I have a C average and about $70k in loans. I know it was a mistake to accept the law scholarship scam. I was totally suckered into it, and I don’t know if I should just cut and run or stick it out. I don’t hate law school, but I don’t love it either. (If I finish I’m getting into taxation and estates, wills, and trusts.)

Everybody in my life is saying stick it out and graduate so I have some thing to show for the money, but I doubt that my [negative adjectives redacted] school’s name on a diploma will get me anywhere but back to the WalMart soft-lines dept. So, it’s just pride f***ing with me, my partner, and my family, as Marcellus Wallace would put it.

Before I went to law school, I taught for a year but never finished my degree. I could drop about $5k on a certification program and be in a program that would allow me to start a job teaching in a few months, with the opportunity to get a M.Ed. in special ed with a teaching fellowship, which would cut the costs of that degree even further, and given the fact that there isn’t a grading curve, my grades would resume their pre-law excellence. Switching to teaching would also provide the possibility of jumping in on two loan forgiveness programs.

So, what should I do? Do I give my school another year’s tuition or do I swallow my pride, accept defeat, go back to my hometown to teach?

[Please visit the site to access the poll]

F&B has changed formats

SSM&JLM — Wed, 09 May 2012 15:44:57 GMT

Anyone else seeing it?

The most shamelessly offensive license plates ever seen PIP NSFW

CrackHabit — Wed, 09 May 2012 14:44:35 GMT

link

Tell me about San Francisco

mbcdefg — Wed, 09 May 2012 01:26:33 GMT

We're tossing around the idea of doing a weeklong trip to San Francisco sometime this summer. It's just me and MH and we've never been to the West Coast. What are your favorite SF-area things to do?

Stuff we like: MH likes craft breweries and particularly wants to visit Russian River, which is about an hour north of SF. We're not hikers but we like to walk around city neighborhoods. Interesting, casual places to eat would be nice. We're very local to New York City so we'll be skipping stuff that's "generic big-city stuff" (theater and museums that aren't super-specific to the location, etc.)

We would like to fly into San Francisco, explore the city for a few days, then rent a car and drive down the Pacific Coast Highway and then fly home from another airport. Our home airport is Newark, NJ.

MH also really wants to see the giant sequoia trees ... I looked on the map and it's a five-hour drive on Rt. 99 East. Is there anything else on the way that's worth seeing, so that we could make it a one-day side trip?

Thanks for any input!

Find me this dress, but cheaper (please)

otowngirl — Tue, 08 May 2012 21:36:41 GMT

I'm a bridesmaid in a December wedding, and my friend has been searching for bridesmaids' dresses for a couple months now. She wants something like this:

But for about 1/3 of the price, lol (it's David Meister). Can y'all find anything similar in the $100ish range?

Clicky: Yard guy peed in my yard?

The_Jen626 — Wed, 09 May 2012 01:40:23 GMT

We have a weekly yard guy. Typically he's here for about 30-45 minutes, mows the front and back. This week he is filling in some new flowerbeds with dirt, adding a bunch of barkdust, planted a tree, etc. He was here for about 3 hours this morning, left to go mow some other yards and pick up the remaining dirt from the dirt place, and just got back.

The "side yard" behind the fence is covered in gravel, it's basically a long hallway that goes about 40' and then you walk up 2 stairs and you are in the back yard.

I went back to talk to him and he was standing in the corner, just looking at the back yard. I figured he was counting out how much dirt he would need, or something. I called out to him, he walked over, we had a conversation for about 5 minutes, and then I went back there again and noticed that there was some big water drops on the gravel, right where it meets the grass. (My dog hasn't been outside in about 4 hours and there isn't a faucet or anything nearby)

I think he peed on the gravel!

My initial reaction was "WTF GROSS!" but then I thought "eh, he works outside all day and probably feels awkward asking to use people's restrooms". I keep going back and forth.

So, if he did in fact pee on the gravel... gross? Or not gross?

[Please visit the site to access the poll]

Were you bullied as a kid?

CrackHabit — Wed, 09 May 2012 03:06:26 GMT

Pretty sure we've talked about this before?

Another bullying suicide on the news tonight.

I was bullied pretty badly in late elementary and middle school. It got so bad I switched school districts for high school.

The school staff and administrators wouldn't do anything about it. None of them seemed to care. They'd tell my parents, "middle school girls can be vicious" and tell my parents to put me in karate lessons.

Why has it taken so long for bullying to get any attention? The first time I remember hearing any sort of public outcry about it was after Columbine.