Sex & Romance

Super embarrassing question...

ErikaB123 — Tue, 14 May 2013 06:07:15 GMT

Okay ladies, this is really hard to talk about but I want to know if this is normal. After sex, is it normal for air to come back out the vagina (making a farting sound)? This doesn't happen every time, but sometimes I feel like the husband pumps me full of air and it has to come back out after. Thankfully he just laughs and it doesn't gross him out. Does this happen to anyone else? I was wondering if it's because we change positions during sex? Does anyone know why this happens and what we can do to avoid it?

Newlyweds with slow sex life.

adraper123 — Thu, 23 May 2013 22:29:59 GMT

Hey all,

I have been married now for two months and my husband and I are having issues in the bedroom. We lived together for a year before we got married, and this should have just made it better, but now he is working 70 hour weeks and is always extremely tired and not in the mood as he puts it. I am very sexual, like to dress up and would like it everyday, however I put a limit on the amount of times I ask as I do not like to be turned down as much as I do. I would even walk around nude or kiss his neck, etc. and still he will tell me he is just not in the mood. I am not sure if it is the stress of starting a family or what, but I can not live like this. We will have sex max 2 or 3 times a week. That is if I am lucky.

He tells me I am just pressuring him to much. If I don't ask him or say anything I feel as though nothing would happen. Am I wrong to ask once every other day or should we see someone. What should my next move be, because I feel as though I am not getting through to him when I get upset because he turns me down. Thank you for looking.

Vanilla, Sex, and Cowardice

BoneOwl — Mon, 20 May 2013 17:21:21 GMT

Hi Ladies,

I've been lurking over on TB, as I'm hoping to TTC this fall, but I'm having some...issues with my DH, and I need some outside advice.

When we got married, I was sexually experienced, and DH was a virgin raised in a rather religious household. He was horrified at the idea that I wanted (wanted!) to give him oral sex, because he seems to have this hangup that "penises are weird and gross"

I've had an interest in BDSM, and asked him to explore that with me. He flat out refused. Won't even tie my hands to the headboard with a tie or scarf. If I want to feel immobilized, I have to hang on myself. When I asked him why he was so uncomfortable with the idea, he demurred, giving me a half-assed answer like "what if the house catches on fire while you're chained to the headboard?" (Really?!)

So sex has been extraordinarily vanilla. We explored the kama sutra a bit, but he really tends to prefer missionary or cowgirl, with the occasional spice of doggy style when I give him puppy-dog eyes and ask for it that way.

We had a rough patch where he all but gave up on sex and we didn't have sex for three months. When I jumped him out of sheer frustration, he didn't respond to me, and when I asked him what was wrong he was all "Oh, this is your show. I always have to do the work." I was seriously hurt and just left and slept in the spare bedroom. The next day, I wrote him a letter (because it's the only way I can communicate stuff like that....more on that later) telling him that I was hurt and that I really wanted our sex life to work, and that evening we talked and everything seemed to be good....if back to our old vanilla routine.

A month ago I asked him if he was at all interested in 69'ing, to which he replied "ew, no!". Later he was like "So, um, if there's anything you wanna try, let me know." I was in such utter shock and disbelief that I just shrugged and went to sleep. I couldn't even figure how to verbalize that I HAD been suggesting things, and every single deviant thing I wanted had been shot down.

The thing is, I'm great at writing, but terrible at talking. If there's something serious I need to tell him, it's more likely that he'll find a letter on his desk after I leave for work.

Flash forward to last night, and we're getting frisky. I start fondling him and he jerks away, saying something like "he's excited enough. You can touch everywhere else though"

My immediate thought is "Oh ***, am I just really bad at this? Am I so bad at hand jobs that even my own husband doesn't want me touching him there?" I can't say anything, because I'm a coward.

Don't mistake me - my husband is, in every other way, an amazing husband. We've been married for 7 years now, and we're practically best friends. We hardly ever fight and agree on most everything. Everything but sex, apparently. The only thing I'm uncomfortable talking to him about anymore is sex, and that's probably because I've been shut down so many damn times over the years.

So...I'm at a loss. I'm just so frustrated and hurt and despairing of my sex life ever getting better. I don't even know if this is a rant or a question. Has anyone been through anything like this before? Any advice would be more than welcome.

Oral stimulation?

tiffaannyy — Tue, 30 Apr 2013 03:47:13 GMT

Hi everyone, I'm having a problem enjoying oral stimulation from my bf and i need help!

When he goes down on me, it feels good but it's like i'm too sensitive or something. it's like a sensory overload and i can't even handle it for a full minute, let alone all the way to climax.

I have no problem using a vibrator or even a massaging shower head which is why i don't understand the problem when he uses his tongue...i would think that the vibrations/pressure from these other methods would be WAY too much for me if i can't even handle a tongue!

What do we do? i'm really bummed that I can't enjoy oral sex and he's upset too because he wants to please me in every way possible.

HELP!

Is it normal....

KayleB1 — Tue, 21 May 2013 23:06:41 GMT

Ok so i have been having sex with my fiance for about 9 months now. We have tried all sorts of different things from toys to positions, but I can never complete an orgasm. I can feel it start, but once I get close to that point, I lose it. The guy I was with prior to him could get me off with hardly any effort, but with my fiance I have to be on top every time to even feel him... Maybe it has something to do with the fact that my ex was bigger.. I'm not so sure. I just can never get off and when I don't it makes my fiance feel guilty because it's super easy for him to get off... I just don't know what to do anymore....

Making love or having sex?

mdupon70997 — Tue, 14 May 2013 04:30:13 GMT

My husband and I are newlyweds but we've been together since 2007. We've been intimate since we started dating and the sex is good for both of us. But I'm curious because I recently was talking about sex with a coworker and she kept using the phrase "making love." I started thinking: I can honestly say that I don't think I've ever "made love" to my husband. Our sex lives aren't terribly romantic (for me at least.) It's fun and pleasurable. But I don't know if I would call it making love. Is it the same thing? I love my husband. Is something wrong with us/me because I don't feel like we make love? Am I alone in feeling this way?

does passion have to die?

GabyyGal — Mon, 20 May 2013 16:06:13 GMT

I've always been satisfied by my sex life with my partner. But we're still in the early years and it's hard not to get caught up in the idea that passion inevitably dies down between people. is it worth doing something about that preemptively? is it even possible to "spice things up" or whatever before the fire fades? any advice would be welcome.

alternative types of birth control

rachelle.izard — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 21:47:14 GMT

Hey girls, I need some help with alternative types of birth control. I have to stop the pill so we need something to keep from getting preggo...condoms are no fun, any other suggestions?? TIA R

IT'S BACK!!!

julieandjojo — Sat, 18 May 2013 10:20:38 GMT

....my sex drive! After 2-3 years of just never being able to get excited/horny for sex except once in awhile, I think mostly due to BC pill... nothing outward changed it, no change of BC or any life events. I think it's because I know we will be TTC in a few months and my body is getting ready :) Well, no matter the reason, I am so happy! It really destroyed how I feel about myself when I wanted to have sex w/DH (and did, and enjoyed it but....never had that horny feeling that I used to!). Mmmm...sex. LOL.

Alternatives to birth control pills?

PrincessKitty26 — Thu, 02 May 2013 21:23:22 GMT

We've been married just over 4 months, and I'm almost 30. My hormones are changing and so my doctor switched me to a higher dose pill (Yaz to Necon--huge difference), which has made me gain weight and feel anxious. My husband and I want to try FAM and some sort of spermicide. We would like to start trying for a baby in about a year or so, so I don't want an IUD or anything hormonal. Any suggestions or feedback?

Can we talk about anal sex please?

HeyitsDubbs — Wed, 08 May 2013 14:38:47 GMT

My boyfriend has made a couple of comments about enjoying anal sex. I am not a big fan. I've always found it painful. However, I haven't attempted this in going on 10 years. In the past decade I have not encountered that many men who enjoyed it. Most didn't like it.

I'm willing to try anal again. I am excited to try it again. My boyfriend is all about me using a vibrator on myself during which sounds exciting.

So my question is...

Do you like it? Any advice on making this more enjoyable?

Sexless Marriage

lpavone — Fri, 03 May 2013 12:50:23 GMT

Hello - I do know that this topic has been brought up again and again - I just was hoping to get some advice more specific to my problem.

My husband and I have been married for seven months after dating for three years. We've never had a crazy sex life, but fairly decent. In the past year and a half, I have not once had an orgasm during sex.

In the past year or so he never wants to have sex.

One time, I put on sexy lingerie and came to greet him in the living room and he literally yelled at me to put my clothes back on. He often rejects my advances.

After doing a lot of reading yesterday, I decided to ask him about it.

He told me that he feels that he's not good enough for me in bed so and, "If I'm not good at something you know that I just don't do it."

We've talked about our sex life many times before - always out of the bedroom and in a non-confrontational way. We tried to address the orgasm thing - I asked for foreplay, for him to want to help me enjoy myself. Nothing has changed.

I just cried and cried after we talked. Is this my marriage? He's been thinking this for some time but didn't tell me. I tell him everything. He told me the night before that he's been pushing me away because he thinks im going to cheat on him - I am devoted to him! There's nothing I've done to make him feel this way!

He said he's trying to protect himself - I always think of us as "We" -

Any advice is greatly appreciated.

DH is to the larger side...and sex is painful :(

athomas2424 — Wed, 10 Apr 2013 16:54:51 GMT

I am beyond frustrated and I do not know if this could be the problem. My DH is pretty well endowed and quite honestly, I have never enjoyed sex with him because it is uncomfortable. I would not say PAINFUL, I would just say mostly uncomfortable. I honestly think this is because he is a little too large than what I am used to. I have had a small handful of partners in my life and this was never really an issue. I'm just thinking to myself how much it sucks (yes I love him and no I don't want to be with anyone else)...because the thought of having uncomfortable sex for the rest of my life just sucks (mainly for him since I don't want to have it much because of this). But seriously...having a large one can't be a reason to not marry someone!?!?!

I keep thinking maybe if we do it more often, my body will eventually just get used to the size, but that isn't happening. Foreplay and TONS of lube helps...but its still not what I would call "great" by ANY means. Wine helps too :-) Maybe I just have to suck it up....

Or, I was thinking maybe it could be Vaginismus (the more I keep reading about it on here I wonder....I had never heard of it before til this board).

A "free pass"???

sarahbeth9008 — Fri, 08 Mar 2013 20:14:57 GMT

Ladies, have you ever given your man a free pass to have sex with one random stranger? Apparently this is not uncommon. I don't want my DH to expect it later in our marriage. I am not that type of girl.

What do you think if your husband masturbates ....

leffeil — Wed, 12 Sep 2012 18:51:53 GMT

when he is alone and he lies to you???? Is it wrong if he does it although he has a person that he can have sex with. This really bothers me bc I feel that he shouldnt be doing it since he got me. I was away durign the weekend and I checked the internet history and I saw some porn websites so I asked hom and he told me NO when I knew he did it. I then asked him again and he told me that he did. It also bothers me that he lied to me when it should be a very open relationship. He told me that "is not of my business" Pleae advise = )

On top...

ErikaB123 — Mon, 18 Mar 2013 22:15:20 GMT

I've heard many women say that their favorite position is being on top. Am I just weird or is this a terribly painful position for others? We tried it last night and we had to stop immediately because it felt awful. Like he was jabbing into my vital organs.

Am I doing something wrong?! I'm sorry for all the graphic details but I have to put this out there- for me doggy style is the absolutely most comfortable position. One more thing...I'm about 5'3" and my husband's you know what is about 8in. Maybe it's the size difference? I really want to try the whole on top deal, but it just isn't comfortable. Anyone else out there feel this way?

Getting pregnant

JNCPro3130 — Wed, 01 May 2013 13:18:13 GMT

Hello, everyone! I wasn't sure where to post this so I decided this would be best. My DH and I are thinking about TTC soon. It has been recommended that we have sex every other day to increase the potential of getting pregnant. My DH and I do not have sex that often! Every other day is going to be a lot for us. How did you TTC and still make it romantic and fun? I'm worried it will feel like a chore. Thanks in advance. I'm probably over thinking things. :)

Honesty about Orgasms

MellySueNels — Fri, 10 May 2013 01:56:05 GMT

I've been having sex for 10+ years - why can I never seem to have a longer orgasm than 30 seconds? Who else experiences this?

Fiance wants it more and I have physical limitations

starchyld77 — Wed, 01 May 2013 02:38:35 GMT

I know that this is going to sound off but my FI is a very sexual person and I used to be but have lost it due to medical issues that have physical limitations set by a doctor and PT. Both of us work full time and have out own businesses on the side and things have just gone by the wayside. The other night he sits me down and tells me that he wants our sex life to pick up otherwise this could break us. he says that he wants enticement and all kinds of stuff and some of it just makes me uncomfortable as ever because I have never had to entice a man or do any of the things that he wants me to do. I have talked to my girlfriends and they all call "Switzerland" and just tell me that this has to be a two way street and not just me doing everything. I am at all loss therefore I am chancing it and asking for help.

Sex Dreams

tooquick1 — Tue, 12 Mar 2013 11:16:22 GMT

Have you ever had a dream where you had sex with someone who just kinda appears out of nowhere ? I had a dream last night about some lady who's kids go to the same school my kids do. I have never had any interaction with her besides just saying hi.

How to take charge

ILoveHearts2013 — Thu, 25 Apr 2013 05:49:59 GMT

Hello everyone. I am new here. MH and I have been together for over a year and a half and we have been married for for four months now. He told me he would like for me to take charge or start sex sometimes too. I try to but I wind up too embaressed then I stop and it kind of kills the mood sometimes. I don't know why I get embaressed I am very comfortable with my body and sex is awesome with him.I really like being the one who gets dominated instead of the one who dominates.

Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Feeling inadequate...

DustiRoseNY — Tue, 19 Mar 2013 13:29:29 GMT

Normally DH and I normally have a good sex life. A couple of things happened recently that have my confidence crushed and I don't know how to get past it.

A couple of weeks ago I bought something sexy to wear and as DH undressed me and saw it, he laughed. He said it was a "that's awesome" laugh, but to me it felt like a "hey you look ridiculous" laugh. Then last night we were fooling around on the couch, he's already half naked, and I look up to find him fast forwarding over the commercials on a show he was watching before we started. When I asked what he was doing, he said it was just a reflex to FF during the commercial. My reaction was that you shouldn't even notice the commercials if you're into what we're doing.

I tried to explain this all to him, and he apologized, but that doesn't erase what happened. I feel inadequate. What can I do to get past this? Am I overreacting?

Frustrated

blueeyedmommy93 — Wed, 21 Nov 2012 16:41:22 GMT

I have been with my fiance for almost 2 years now. Engaged for 1. And for the first few months sex was great. Then when I got pregnant sex became too painful. After my baby I gained back my drive times 5. That lasted about a week and even though I was craving it like crazy suddenly my fiance didn't really want it. I tried not to be upset but I couldn't help it. I finally wanted sex and now he didn't want it?...Well now my daughter is 6 months old and he still doesn't hardly want to even touch me...not even to give me a kiss or hug me or cuddle at bed time. I'm at a loss for what to do...I've tried talking to him about it buts gone no where...Any advice???

Feeling Like I'm Not Good Enouph

beyondwords0789 — Wed, 08 May 2013 18:38:40 GMT

My fiancé and I have been together for over a year and a half and we are getting married in October. I know he loves me and he is always telling me I'm beautiful. The biggest struggle in our relationship is my insecurities because I don't feel good enough. I am a bigger girl and don't know how anyone could think I'm pretty let alone want to marry me.

When we started dating I was a virgin but he was not and he had been previously engaged. In our relationship I always want sex more then he does and I feel like he doesn't want to because of how I look.

A couple months ago, I'm not sure how it was brought up but we were talking about his past girlfriends and he mentioned I am not the best sex he has had.

This doesn't surprise me cause well I'm inexperienced. But now I feel completely inadequate and I'm not sure how to shake this feeling.

He loves me and I know he doesn't want anyone else but how do realize that I am enough for him even if I will never be his best?

Also you have any tips or suggestions to be better?

He wants it more than I do

blee2013 — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 10:33:01 GMT

Hi all,

My hubby is a very sexual person and I used to be too when we first met but 7 years later, a kid and getting older has changed me sorry to say. I'm still attracted to my man but I find sex with him more as a job than something I want to do unless I'm in the mood. I am very content with having occasional sex but now that I'm his wife he wants to throw that the fact that I should be giving him sex at least 3 times a week now. The last thing I want to do is have sex with him and fake it as I'd like to enjoy it as well. I now have an attitude and he can't understand what the problem is. Please help!