Relationships

lol did she just DD

ygmojica87 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 22:55:29 GMT

that girl with the boyfriend that broke up with her??

i guess she didnt read what she wanted to hear...oh well. She could of used the advice given..

A weekend trip without you

jennaandjared — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:49:00 GMT

How would you girls feel if your husband went on a weekend trip, with the guys....? I am really not sure how I feel about it. On one hand, it will be nice to have the house to myself for a girls night and a day with my family...but on the other hand, I'm not sure that he should still be acting like he's still in college with his idiotic friends..haha. So I was just wondering how you guys would feel...or if this has ever occured with you.

Is being FB friends with an ex ok?

Margie90876 — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:50:31 GMT

DH is still friends with his ex on facebook, which I really don't like. Should I just let it go or talk to him about it?

Scheduling Sex

DeAndrea Wheeler — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 22:46:50 GMT

I work 40+ hour weeks and they say that you are not supposed to schedule sex but I can not help it. the spontaneous part of me is too tired...what should I do?

found out husband is a DL

nsidla — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 23:10:05 GMT

For all of you who don't know what a DL is it means "diaper lover" my hubby told me that he has liked to wear diapers for years, expecially when he is really stressed out. When he first told me this I thought it was a joke, until we went to the store and bought the diapers. I thought I could deal with it but it was way to much at one time and I was a little freaked out and he could really tell, so he decided that maybe if he just threw the diapers away (after he had worn one for about an hour) maybe he would feel better and just be able to rid himself of this.

Well more recently he has been acting very unlike himself. Getting upset with me for stupid things, he wouldn't have sex, always frusterated and just in general being an a**hole and nothing like the man I married. I knew it had something to do with the diaper thing but he told me not to bring it up again so I didn't. Then last night he told me about a web page he had been going to, to talk to people that have the same issue and understand it more for himself. We talked for hours last night about how each of us felt about everything, it was amazing and now that I have time to get used to the fact that my hubby is a DL and I have read up on some of it, I am fine with it. Yeah it still is a little weird and all but I understand it enough to be supportive and understanding of my husband. It was really a true test of my vows, for better or worse...... or to accept him for who he is or just be another person to turn away from him. I was able to accept and I am proud of my self for that, but I am even more proud of my husband for trusting me enough to tell me this.

My question is does anyone else have a spouse who is into this? My husband doesn't do it for anything sexual its just to feel safe and secure. Can anyone relate to my experiances? I would love to have someone in my situation that I can talk to and share experiances with so please let me know either a post or pm is fine.

Thank you note etiquette - clicky poll

MammaMia73 — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:31:29 GMT

Just curious - MIL and I differ on this issues and I wonder what the general consensus is.

Thanks ladies!

[Please visit the site to access the poll]

love square...Me plus 3

FreshSqueeze — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 19:14:53 GMT

I've always been a long relationship type person, ever since the 7th grade. There is only been one problem...I love them until the next best thing comes along until now.

I have been in an on and off relationship with my high school sweetheart for the last 9 years, but two years ago I picked up and moved a couple states away for a new and excited job opportunity. He was happy I was happy to start a new chapter in my life, but he gave me a hard time about not "consulting my decision to move" with him. Last I checked I didn't have a ring on my finger so why should I have to "run" my career move past him? We continued to move forth with our relationship even though I was living a few hours away, we tried to make the best of it. We were or maybe it was just me, but we were definitely in trouble. I started spending more weekends in my new state, meeting new people, being more adventurous. I became very close with a coworker of mine. We had everything in common. I described him as the male version of me. As I became friends with the male version of me I broke things off with Mr. Hometown. He wasn't making much of an effort and I was getting tired of the bickering and well as I said before "something better came along."

Since then I've spent the last year with the male version of me (living with him, loving him, enjoying everything we do), but I have recently moved back home for a new job. I am now a few hours away from him and back to where Mr. Hometown lives. He has in the last few month apologized greatly for his mistakes and the way he treated me. I did tell him it was too late for an apology, but at the end of the day I can't stop thinking about him. I'm confused.

The third man in this whole mix up is a little different from the other two. I only see him twice maybe three times a year. He used to work for me (I'd like to state I never crossed the line while he worked for me). He makes me nervous just thinking about him. The other two guys gave me the same feeling, but this one has been for the last 3 years. The only issues besides Lover Boy 1 & 2 above is that hes younger by exactly 3 years to date (same birthdays), I don't get to see him that often, hes trying to pursue a professional sports career and has the potential to be that good, but professional athletes could have anyone, why want a small town older woman??

In the end I love Mr. Hometown. I have so many memories and so much love for him. The male version of me, has been the most amazing man to me, he loves me and adores me as do I love and adore him. And then there is Mr. Pro Athlete, hes been a perfect gentleman and makes my heart jump out of my chest...

Help...

Still Dealing With the Ex-Wife

saraihayes — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:04:38 GMT

I've never posted to an online forum before... but I don't know what else to do. My fiance (now husband!) has an ex wife that just won't quit. From writing a letter to his parents about "what he is doing" (because we have an age gap between us) to coming over, and now on our wedding day, sends him a text message that she has a brain tumor. Which was a lie.

She is still receiving alimony, so obviously he has to send her a check each pay period. He ignores her emails and texts most of the time, and I wasn't upset with him, since he can't control what she does, but I know he is afraid of her escalating the situation if he changes his phone number.

What should I do about her? His parents are wonderful and supportive, as well as his daughter, but it is rough because she puts her daughter in the middle. Any advice would be wonderful :)

Why are we soooo bored!!

isura — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:21:22 GMT

We've been together two years, and finally started communicating with eachother properly. However we've been finding ourselves very bored when we're together.

riderpunk

calle28 — Fri, 20 Nov 2009 14:37:21 GMT

I just saw in the scheduling sex post that you are living with your SIL. Are you the one who's husband wouldn't have sex because the SIL was there or is that somebody else?

Pet names

nati215 — Fri, 13 Nov 2009 20:21:44 GMT

What are your pet names for each other? Depending on my mood to my DH - Baby, Babe (he hates this for some reason), Baaboo, my love. He keeps it simple he calls me Princess!

boricua3177***

ygmojica87 — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 21:00:46 GMT

oye!! no te puedo responder y no se porque mira aber si me escribes algo...tengo la receta!!

Letter from neighbors about our dog-WTF?

fl4lovers — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 23:07:11 GMT

DH and I received a letter in our mailbox (no return address) saying that our dog was barking ALL day and ALL night for several days. The letter was dated Oct. 10th-we just got it today!

We moved here in May and all our neighbors are older and have lived here for AGES. The letter was signed "your neighbors". It stated that they are within hearing distance of our house and that they could not even be outside and talk with friends visiting bc of our dog barking. WHAT??!?!?!?

Our dog is crated during the day (in our LR). He does not bark all day outside. That was the other part of the letter-our dog was left alone all day outside..he is never out there unless we are with him!

WWYD? Should I put a letter in ALL our surrounding neighbors mailboxes? How do I even respond?

Get off the computer and spend time with me!

alvarez-reyes — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 22:59:46 GMT

My husband and I got married about 5 months ago. A few months before our wedding he got a new job and met a group of people that were into computer games, world of warcraft. The first month and 1/2 after our wedding we were ok, but now we have to argue before he gets off the computer to spend time with me. I work during the day and he works evening until midnight, so we don't always get to spend time together. He is addicted to this game and he "tries" to stop playing as much but it only last a day or two... how can I break this habbit without being anal and throwing away and uninstalling that silly game??? HELP!

Does holiday shopping with DH make you crazy?

Nest Anni — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 17:46:04 GMT

Does picking out gifts together and battling crowds at the stores lead to meltdowns? Is it just easier to do it yourself?

Share your holiday shopping disasters below...

Has anyone out there heard of "Catholics"?

OMG Guinea Pigs!! — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 18:27:30 GMT

There's a "Catholic" (sp?) church up the road, and it always smells like incense when we walk by and there are really pretty stained-glass windows. And sometimes they're even playing an organ! It seems pretty cool - I don't know where they get all the money to have such gorgeous "cathedrals" but it looks fun!

Anyone know anything about these people? They're not the crazy ones that eat lobster on Fridays around Easter for "fasting," are they? Cuz that would be nuts.

Newbie rant about bride (I'm MOH)

SocialWorker2B — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 02:03:27 GMT

Okay, so I got married in September. We had a relatively short engagement - since the beginning of March. My 'best friend' has been engaged for years but has been putting it off for mostly financial and school reasons. But, literally, weeks after we get engaged and jump into planning, they set the date. Yes, they just couldn't wait until my wedding was over, not to mention my itty bitty engagement was over, to start planning their own because they did start planning right away.

She asked me to be a bridesmaid and her mom was going to be the MOH. That was fine because she's super close with her mom but out of her friends, I should definitely be MOH - we've been friends since we were 5 and her other friends have only been around since high school. But then because of my own financial, academic, and medical reasons, I told her I couldn't be in the wedding. At my wedding, she begs me to be in the wedding and says she'll pay for my BM dress. I agree. I later find out her mom wants to be a regular guest but she doesn't ask me to be the MOH again.

What my husband doesn't understand is it's NOT about the TITLE, it's about the fact that I have been putting up with her since age five (she's a pathological liar, definitely part of our current problem). I am definitely going to be the one that is helping her the most, both physically and emotionally. Mainly because I just went through it and had a DIY wedding but also because I am extremely organized and efficient. So I feel people should know all of that. Anyways, she finally agrees to give me the title.

But, now she won't make any efforts to differentiate my dress from the other girls'. She won't add a sash because her wedding dress has a sash and she 'doesn't want everybody to have one' which doesn't make any sense to me.

Obviously, I have a lot of anger and resentment towards her - she made fun of how small my wedding shower was and how small the wedding is and she overshadowed my planning by hers (even though at that point, her wedding was TWO YEARS away!) and she certainly doesn't treat me like a MOH, I didn't even know she was going dress shopping until I got the email like a bunch of other people that she bought the dress. Which is tacky, in my opinion.

I feel like I get all the grunt work but none of the fun stuff. Planning the shower? Yes. Going wedding dress shopping? No. Working out details on the phone? Yes. Going to the facial party she won because of her insensitive scheduling? No.

Okay, thanks for listening everybody. I feel better. A little.

Dealing with an inappropriate comment in Sunday school

Zanymermaid — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 19:00:00 GMT

My DH and I are Baptist. We have both been saved (accepted Jesus as our personal savior). He has been brought up Baptist and was saved as a child. I was brought up Episcopalian and confirmed, stopped going to church for awhile, married him and became Baptist and got saved. Our Sunday school teacher was asking everyone in the class when they got saved. I replied that I didn't get saved until after I was married and our teacher asked my DH why he married me if I wasn't saved!!!!!! I simply couldn't believe it. That question is so inappropriate. My DH responded that all he wanted was a woman who would be open to his religion and go to church with him.

How exactly does one respond to a situation like this? Please give me some ideas for any future situations that might arise.

Cant stop fighting about money

smd234 — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 22:25:29 GMT

What would you do if your DH and yourself talked openly about money before you got married but now after the marriage your DH completely acts the opposite of everything you agreed on?

My need for money security is a little over the top I won’t lie, I grew up in a household where my father was constantly getting laid off, so he was a penny pincher due to the fact he didn’t know when his next paycheck was coming in. Now my dad getting laid off wasn’t his fault, bad economy never is, but the fear that is installed into me because of it is very real.

Let’s clarify I have a great job and I make decent money… enough to make the mortgage, car payment, food, etc. If something happened to me we would not be able to survive off of what my DH makes, but he doesn’t see the problem with this and goes on spending what little “fun” money we have on him and complains about the money I save in case of “emergency.”

I feel like we are falling apart, I asked him to go to counseling with me so that we could have an outside party help with the fighting about money and he told me to kiss that idea goodbye. I am telling you if we don’t get help with this I don’t think we will make it and that makes me so sad.

If he isn’t going to go what else can I do?

.

Gina81 — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 19:38:42 GMT

::Gina81::

IsabellaSoprano1 — Thu, 19 Nov 2009 20:36:21 GMT

Did you want to say something to us? If you do you should probably type something other than .

Did Cheaty Cheaterson delete?

ReturnOfKuus — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 16:27:39 GMT

I wonder if she's afraid her DH lurks on here?

trusting fiance after an emotional affair

iamsteph — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:21:26 GMT

It's only been a few days since I found out he was having one, but I've been devastated. We've been together for 7 years, and only engaged for one month! The affair had only been going on for two weeks (and it was a pretty intense two weeks for them, it seems), but I wonder how long it would have gone on if I hadn't found out, and whether it would have progressed to something more between them.

Every time his phone chirps with another email, I wonder if it's her. When he's on the computer, I wonder if he's chatting with her. When he doesn't answer my call because he's already on a phone call, I wonder if he's talking to her. It's absolutely driving me nuts! Even more so, because after I found out, I told him to email her once to cut off the relationship, and then no more. He told me he didn't like me telling him who he could and could not be friends with. I told him he could be friends with anyone he likes, BUT NOT HER!

He told me today that they had emailed each other, but then asked if he could call and talk to her about our problems. Just when I think he's finally got it through his head that what he did was wrong and that it's going to take forever for me to trust him again, he wants to go and discuss our relationship with her! He says he doesn't want to hurt her feelings, and I practically (ok, so I did) yelled at him asking what he thought he was doing to me!

I really don't know what to do. I've cried (a lot). I've sat motionless and numb for hours. I've gotten angry at him. I've tried to explain to him that what he did was wrong. I've sent him articles explaining what he did was wrong. We're supposed to be planning our wedding, not dealing with this. And to top it off, he is getting frustrated at me because I'm suspicious of everything he does. He expects me to trust him again, just like that, and I can't.

Long rant, sorry :(

Growing apart from best friend after marriage

queenkamikaze — Sun, 15 Nov 2009 22:58:49 GMT

It's been a year and two months since the wedding, and I sense that my best friend and I are growing apart. We had a long lunch a few months ago to discuss the changes. She told me that I'm acting different and I don't call her the way I used to. I told her that because I work 10 hour work days, once I get home, I can't spend an hour on the phone everyday with her the way that I used to. Why? Because the hubby is at home and starts to pout if we don't speak to each other for at least 15 minutes or eat dinner together before we go to bed.

She says she doesn't expect an hour everyday but that she does want me to call more frequently to check up on her. I have to admit, I'm pretty much failing at that. My company might go belly up, the hubby was laid off and frankly, I'm struggling trying to balance all my friends with my work hours, my new family (in laws) and his friends.

I'm trying to do a lunch every two weeks with best friend, or movies. I invite her to come walking with me afterwork, etc. I don't want to do too many things that cost lots of money, so I figure that taking a walk or going to the museum on the free day is a good idea. She doesn't really want to do things like that, but sometimes she'll come along.

I guess the next step is to spend more time at her house, watching movies on a Friday night or something.

But honestly, I hate feeling like she's upset because I'm not behaving the way I'm supposed to. I feel tremendous pressure from her and it's getting easier to just not be bothered rather than try to be there all the time for her. And I know that is selfish.

My other friends and I have no problems. We see each other maybe once a month, chat once every few weeks.. They're all pretty busy so we do a lot of email catchups. in fact, they all came to stay with the hubby and me for four days last month. So we had a great time for the long weekend.

My new budgetary realities mean that I can't spend money the way I used to. So when best friend invites me to a bar, where the cover is $20, I feel horrible for saying no... But I have to say no. The hubby and I are paying down debt and we budget every month for fun stuff. I'm trying to do better to set aside an extra $50 for things the best friend wants to do.

I feel like i spend more time worrying about my best friend than I do thinking about my husband! Yet I still feel guilty.

I also think we're just growing apart. But.. what do you think?

Interracial dating*

MissDeAnne01 — Wed, 18 Nov 2009 12:54:45 GMT

Goodmorning,

I have been with my bf for 3 yrs and we have had so many problems with his parents trying to tell us what to do. We are both college grads and have jobs. He just bought a house and I live in an apartment. We have to go through a struggle with them because they are embarrassed that we stay the night with each other. So there is always some kind of problem.

Last night we sat down to talk things out and his mom told me that when she first found out we were dating she was so upset because I was black but she prayed with some friends and with her husband and repented to god. Both my boyfriend and I were like omg I can't believe she just said that. Then her husband goes on to tell me he was raised around black people and saw a lot of violence so he belives most if not all black people are violent and white people are so different from black people.

Does this not sound racist to anyone? I was very angry and I let them know and his dad basically said he didn't care if I looked at them differently and his mom said she thought I would be glad to know she repented and doesn't feel that way.

Bf had no clue they even had felt this way. Now I am just so confused and can't see myself marrying into this family. I wouldn't want my future kids going around a man who believes that my kids other grandparents are violent because they are black. He also went on said that they may not seem violent, but they will turn. I have put a lot into this relationship, we love each other and never have had any problems, it has always been his parents trying to control every aspect of our lives.

We had been talking about living together, but last his mom said it would be so embarrassing because it is wrong in god's eyes and she doesn't want people in town to think they raised him wrong.

Sorry so long, but what do I do? I am the type that cannot deal with racism. It makes me so mad even if she did repent, that still leaves me questioning her. I just wish she didn't tell me. Help!