LMAO!!!!!!!!
Oh my!!!! There are a lot of misconceptions about the East Coast. As with anywhere, it's about location. Princeton.....yeah you are going to pay through the nose to live in that area. You have many well to do families that have lived there for generations.....old money in other words. And yes, the proximity to the "city" (NYC) is part of the cost factor as well. That said, expand your search to other areas of the East Coast, that isn't such a metropolitan city, you aren't going to find as high a price. As the more rural areas down here are cheaper, so are they in the east. I"m really not quite sure how the way people live are much different. The pace is definitely much faster, and well, the people can be more rude, but on the whole I haven't seen much difference. And on the subject of the kind of car you drive not mattering?! Um.....absolutely wrong. Yeah, we aren't into the gas guzzling pick-ups, but instead we have the Hummers, Navigators, and the "luxury" ones while others really like the Prius and other more "friendly" cars. Cars are VERY important on the East Coast. it's a status symbol. Unless you live in NYC or maybe Boston where it's too costly and really doesn't make sense to have one due to great public transportaion, you have to have a car. Square footage is also a status symbol. The difference is, the idiots in the east, will spend all their money to buy this million dollar and then they can't afford to furnish it. Here in Houston, you can buy the same house and furnish it for 1/2 the price! Dh and I have been house hunting and the house we plan on buying, for the location and the size and what's included, would sell for about 3/4 of a million at least back in the same type of location back in PA and it wouldn't even have the community center, splash pad, or any of those ammenities. Down here, it's under $300,000. So yes, most people have smaller houses, because they can' afford more if they want in a certain area or want furniture or to be able to afford the mortgage. Finlly, as for he pay, well, that depends. We moved here because Dh was offered 3x the pay he was making in PA for basically the same job. Usually the bigger the city, the bigger the pay. my house in PA is about 1.5 hours from Philly, 3 hours from NYC one way and 3 hours from DC in the other direction.
As a pp mentioned, if you could get the Raleigh job, I think you would be the most happy with the location/cost of living. Denver and CA are both going to be pricy as well. If you like Princeton and don't have an issue with driving, check about 30 minutes in various directions. I think you will notice a nice reduction in prices.