Trishd:your husband has a right to his opinion but ultimately it was between you and your mom. I think everything was handled great. Glad you were able to straighten things out with her and worked on a deadline to get things done
I disagree with this. You can't have it both ways - say "any other landlord would have done X, Y, and Z....you are taking advantage of your mom, then when DH (the other tenant) has a problem say "this is a mom issue,' (not a landlord issue)"
I didn't answer the pp, but when I read the post I thought "wow, her mom is angry about something else, and is taking it out on the poster." My thought was that the mom was sad about her house going to a stranger, or being part of an undesireable neighborhood, or (if there is no immediate renter) that she's losing money on it.
I'm not saying the OP acted perfectly, but the mom was being an a-hole about things like the clean-up date because she COULD. I have had landlords give me a few extra days to clean up (2X), and a landlord allow me out of my lease 1 month early (provided I found her the next tenant, which I did). It seems as if she has no problem asking family for help when it suits HER (brother doing repairs, presumably at a good cost, sister helping with cleanup), but couldn't give her dd a few extra days to clean up (when there was no tenant moving in within days). If the OP wanted to treat it like a TRUE landlord/tenant relationship, she could have just said "f*** it - there is no deposit, so let her clean up her own $%#! house." (I'm assuming that the mom didn't ask for a security deposit when she left with 2 weeks notice to live with her boyfriend). I'm not saying the OP is right to leave a mess in the home, but it seems mom enjoys leaning on family for help, then playing hardball when her dd wants a favor. And I think renting the house was a win-win for both parties. If the mom wanted money so badly, she could have sold her ghetto home.
IMO, your mom has her own communication issues, and issues with her anger. That's probably why your DH is mad. I'm sure this isn't the first time something like this has happened with your mom.
Like I said, I didn't reply in the first post, but if you think of your mom as your best friend - I would find new friends. Your mom has huge double standards, and sounds b*tchy to you and your sister - not treating you like she would treat other friends. I think you need some distance from her.
Tell your dh that you just want to put this behind you, b/c you don't have to rent from her again, you have your own place now. But tell him you will discuss his issues with her at a later date. I'm betting there will be other blowouts with your mom, and that YOU are a "DW" issue (vs. DH's MIL issue).