The Nest

sounds hard to me. i know i wouldn't be able to do it. i have no words of advice only hugs and offers to gtg (baby L welcome)

Oh sweetie!

I hope you'll talk to your doctor about this.  It could just be a down patch, it could be general depression, or it could be post-partum depression - hopefully talking to your doctor can help figure things out!

dana92504:

sounds hard to me. i know i wouldn't be able to do it. i have no words of advice only hugs and offers to gtg (baby L welcome)

Ditto.

Hugs!!! Those first few weeks, months, are hard. I can only imagine how much harder they are on your own! Crying and crazy emotions are also to be expected.

I can't believe that you got kicked out of a group for missing functions. That sounds crazy and maybe wasn't the best group anyway. Try to find another one, it may help. Try meeting up with other nesties too. It does help to make yourself get out of the house. Even if it's just to run to Target.

oh sweetie, it'll be ok. It takes time to adjust to a whole new life and it sucks a whole lot in the mean time. That said, tell your dr all that stuff. there may be more to it then just adjusting to mommyhood. I had ppd very bad and needed help, if you ever just want to vent or say whatever crazy thing your thinking without someone judging you PM me anytime.

KNJepp:

Oh sweetie!

I hope you'll talk to your doctor about this.  It could just be a down patch, it could be general depression, or it could be post-partum depression - hopefully talking to your doctor can help figure things out!

i agree. i have a friend who didn't realize she had PPD until her DD was 4-5 mos old. it sneaks up on you and you don't even realize. please do talk to your doctor. it's hard, it really is but i don't think it should leave you feeling *this* down!

anytime you want to get out, let us know. there are so many of us all over the city and we get together all the time. if you wanna go get your nails done or just have some "you" time, let me know! Turtle and I will come play with Landon (really, i mean it)

I can't imagine having to basically be a new mom on my own.  I hope you get to feeling better, and try to find another group.  There are tons of SAHMs our age in The Woodlands, there has to be one that doesn't "require" so much involvement!

Thank you so much everyone. It's so nice to know that "strangers" can be so compassionate. The only reason I posted here is because I knew you would understand.

I have an appt. on monday so, I will def. tell the dr. how I feel.

Rayskit- I just looked at your siggie. I dont know where I was so, I had no idea about the m/c. I'm so sorry !!!!!! And I might take you up on the offer. Maybe turtle can sweep my kitchen for me. LOL

Swayn, I sent you a PM.

i'm so sorry you're going through this. it's really hard to adjust, and i know what you mean about not opening the door or leaving the house.

feel free to email me or call if you need to talk. 

What you are feeling is completely and totally normal.  You are a new mom and you are exhausted.  Not to mention the fact that your hormones are still out of wack.

For the first 10 months of Orion's life DH traveled during the week and I was all alone with Orion.  When he was 6 weeks old and had a particularly rough night, I called DH (who was in Seattle) and told him I hated him for abandoning his family.  I was tired of being alone with a baby for 24 hours a day.  That's when I realized that for my own sanity I needed to get out of the house every day.  I started taking daily walks with Orion in the stroller.  I had my best friend come over every afternoon and hold Orion for an hour so I could get a break.  

 Things will get better and easier as he gets older.  I promise.  But still make sure you take care of yourself.  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  You could have your MIL come over and just take care of baby duties while you hang out in your bedroom.  That way you're right there if she should need you but you're still get a little break. 

i have no babies so I can't understand but it certainly sounds like a hard situation. definitely talk to your doc about it and maybe we should have a special gtg close to you!  you can bring landon and you'll have lots of other people to play with him so you can have a break...

 but know i do think of you every time i see or hear josh turner, so that's something :)

and as an aside, what kind of group kicks a new mom out for missing functions...that sounds mean.

Aw, I'm so sorry!  Hugs...I really don't have much advice, but like the others said - I'd love to do lunch or dinner.  I'll even confiscate your baby so your arms get a rest!

Hugs! I know it must be so hard to do everything without your DH around. I complain and take stuff out on DH because he has to work late. So I can't imagine him not being around at all! I also hate being stuck at home with a baby all day long. So I really try to go out once a day. Sometimes it is just to check the mail and take Rena for a walk around the block. The other day we went to the dry cleaners, filled gas, and I got a drink from Sonic. We were only gone for an hour, but even that much was enough to make me feel recharged when we got back home.

Can you meet your parents or friends (who work) for lunch sometimes? My sister works in the city and we usually meet her every other week for lunch. She loves seeing Rena and I get a break for an hour to sit and enjoy my lunch.

Let me know if you ever want to talk or meet up somewhere. We're always up for getting out of the house!

I just copied & pasted...  

(This might be good for you to go to.)

Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression Support Group
Houston

Facilitated by Sherry J. Duson, Licensed Professional Counselor/Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

The Woman’s Hospital of Texas
Meeting Room 150 in the Education Department
7400 Fannin
Houston, Texas

Free for women, babies and support people, Fridays, 10:00 am - 11:30 am, Free parking and valet parking, bring your ticket for validation 

 

I should also have stated that you do not need to be diagnosed with PPD to attend. It's a group of women who get together to talk about the challenges of being a new mom. 

I am so sorry you are having a hard time.  My DH is gone half the time and it IS hard to be alone with the baby all the time.  There are many hitches where I am very bitter that he is gone so much.

This part-time single Mom business is hard work and I am sure being home alone makes it even harder.  I know we are on opposite sides of town, but if you ever want to GTG, I am up for it.

Oh...I have a friend who lives in Spring (aren't you close to that?) who meets with a group at the hospital nearby on Mondays for moms...let me know if you want the info.

They gave me a check list at the hospital before I came home and told me to make sure I do everything on the checklist EVERYDAY or else I will go into depression.  I don't have it anymore, but I can tell you what I remember:

1)  get at least 5 consecutive hours of sleeps  (this was hard for me to do because DD was gassy and woke up every 1.5 hours to eat), but I really tried to do this and DH really help make get to this goal.  Is your husband working in town or does he travel for work?

2) make sure you take a shower everyday.  Also...make sure that when you wake up, to try to change out of the pj during the day and not stay in it all day long.

3) make sure you laugh a few times during the day

4) make sure you have a conversation with an adult that has nothing to do with the baby

Not sure if your husband works in town and comes home every evening or not, but when DH came home from work, I would give him 30 mins to decompress and then it's his turn to take over while I relax and not worry about the baby.  Sometimes I would go to Walgreens to just get Q-tips by myself, but it just helps to get out and do something (even if that something is little).   

 What you're going through is completely normal and you're not alone.  You have a BIG support group on this board. 

Sounds like you have the Post Partum Blues. I would def. call your doctor to talk to her about it. 

I had the same thing from staying in so much plus all the hormones after having my daughter.  I would get out and at least take walks.  Getting out of the house will do you wonders.  Just take the baby to the mall or something.

I think most will agree that the whole watching baby thing is tough -- a lot tougher than it sounds. It gets easier, though...and you're in the hardest part. So keep in mind that this sort of routine won't last forever.

One saving grace for me was joining a play group. It helps to have somewhere to go where people understand.

The Children's Museum's Tot Spot might be another good destination that will accomodate both of you.

kcjk:

I just copied & pasted...  

(This might be good for you to go to.)

Pregnancy and Postpartum Depression Support Group
Houston

Facilitated by Sherry J. Duson, Licensed Professional Counselor/Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist

The Woman’s Hospital of Texas
Meeting Room 150 in the Education Department
7400 Fannin
Houston, Texas

Free for women, babies and support people, Fridays, 10:00 am - 11:30 am, Free parking and valet parking, bring your ticket for validation 

 

I would take advantage of this group!! I wish I knew about this when I had my daughter!  I would have went in a heartbeat!

I'm so sorry you're going through this but you are not alone.  I will be in a similar situation when my little guy arrives as my DH is typicallly gone Mon-Thurs every week at least 3 weeks/month. I am open to the possibility that I may need to hire a nanny even if it's 2 half days a week just to give me a break.

I'm glad you're seeing your doctor soon so you can discuss some things that will help.  I would meet you for lunch, a walk, offer to help out, etc but I am on bedrest so I'm no help in the immediate future.  However, once I have an outside baby I am all for getting out and getting together.  My goal once I recover is to get out and at least go for walk every day.  In the meantime, force yourself to get out however briefly and take all these great nesties up on their offers for GTG's.

 

OOHHH I just started my maternity leave today, if you are in Spring feel free to email me.  I would love to have someone to go visit during the day now and when DD gets here.  It is hard, it was hard when I had DS and I had a little bit of depression, you aren't alone.  Cate and Landon could become bf and gf :-)

jstokes02 at yahoo dot com 

 

Swayntx:

Thank you so much everyone. It's so nice to know that "strangers" can be so compassionate. The only reason I posted here is because I knew you would understand.

I have an appt. on monday so, I will def. tell the dr. how I feel.

Rayskit- I just looked at your siggie. I dont know where I was so, I had no idea about the m/c. I'm so sorry !!!!!! And I might take you up on the offer. Maybe turtle can sweep my kitchen for me. LOL

we're hardly strangers

fab! that will get you on the right track!

thanks. we were pretty low key about it...

and yes, he can! he'll even bring his own swiffer!! actually, i really want to check out sam moon, so i have 2 excuses to get to the woodlands...

(((HUGS))) to you!  I can empathize with a lot that you have said.  I'm a single mom a lot of the time because of dh's work schedule and I was laid off from my job five weeks before I had ds so my complete identity was lost and reinvented (and some times into a person i didn't like to be completely honest)  I can remember sitting in the recliner trying to stay awake thinking that I have not talked to a single adult, been outside or even showered in over 30 hours - and that happened a lot.  I wish I were closer to be able to help you more, but if you ever want to talk I'm here.