My sister works at a day program for people with developmental and physical dissabilities so those words are big no-nos in our family. We try not to use any words that have such negative connotations though.

I think it is offensive to some but I wouldnt go as far as to ban it. Idiot is widely used today, but used to be the term used for the same meaning!

I admit that I do say the word retarded. But I never, ever say it at work and have had quite a few conversations with my students about using the word. You never know when someone will be offended by it. A middle schooler quit my program two years ago because someone used that word, even though it wasn't directed towards her or even about a person.

 If I do use it, it is usually at home or behind closed doors. I try not to say it when out in public.

On another note, I was at a movie a few weeks ago and heard someone use the "F" word (not F**K, the other demeaning "f" word) out loud in his normal voice. I was SHOCKED that someone would say that word in public, at a crowded movie theater. It made me sad for him.

annaandersen:

I think it is offensive to some but I wouldnt go as far as to ban it. Idiot is widely used today, but used to be the term used for the same meaning!

this .. although sometimes i think we're TOO pc. drives me nuts.  dh became hyperaware of the use of the word 'retarded' in a negative way after friends of ours had a baby w/ downs (they were in their mid-late 20's - outside the usual risk cat for downs).

 

FormerlyGood:

On another note, I was at a movie a few weeks ago and heard someone use the "F" word (not F**K, the other demeaning "f" word) out loud in his normal voice. I was SHOCKED that someone would say that word in public, at a crowded movie theater. It made me sad for him.

This happened to me at the Giants game last Friday.  The LGBT Band did the national anthem (very well, I might add!) but the kid standing next to me yelled out "f-gs" as soon as they were announced.  I looked at him and said "Excuse yourself!", which he did but only because I was giving my best "how dare you" look.  Afterwards, I said I hope you're not going to do anything like that again and he gave me this look.

Later on he switched seats with the person he was with, but then he started throwing peanut shells at me.  He was maybe 15 or 16 but it made me think about that part of society that still teaches racism and intolerance.  As a country, we're really not as civilized as we think we are. :(

tilden2:

FormerlyGood:

On another note, I was at a movie a few weeks ago and heard someone use the "F" word (not F**K, the other demeaning "f" word) out loud in his normal voice. I was SHOCKED that someone would say that word in public, at a crowded movie theater. It made me sad for him.

This happened to me at the Giants game last Friday.  The LGBT Band did the national anthem (very well, I might add!) but the kid standing next to me yelled out "f-gs" as soon as they were announced.  I looked at him and said "Excuse yourself!", which he did but only because I was giving my best "how dare you" look.  Afterwards, I said I hope you're not going to do anything like that again and he gave me this look.

Later on he switched seats with the person he was with, but then he started throwing peanut shells at me.  He was maybe 15 or 16 but it made me think about that part of society that still teaches racism and intolerance.  As a country, we're really not as civilized as we think we are. :(

OMG!! That is insane. I was really tempted to say something to the guy at the movie theater but he was this huge guy with tattoos. He scared me. I did do the turn around half way thing but he was not paying attention to me. Some people are just pathetic.

tilden2:

FormerlyGood:

On another note, I was at a movie a few weeks ago and heard someone use the "F" word (not F**K, the other demeaning "f" word) out loud in his normal voice. I was SHOCKED that someone would say that word in public, at a crowded movie theater. It made me sad for him.

This happened to me at the Giants game last Friday.  The LGBT Band did the national anthem (very well, I might add!) but the kid standing next to me yelled out "f-gs" as soon as they were announced.  I looked at him and said "Excuse yourself!", which he did but only because I was giving my best "how dare you" look.  Afterwards, I said I hope you're not going to do anything like that again and he gave me this look.

Later on he switched seats with the person he was with, but then he started throwing peanut shells at me.  He was maybe 15 or 16 but it made me think about that part of society that still teaches racism and intolerance.  As a country, we're really not as civilized as we think we are. :(

Good for you for saying something!

If I do use it, it is usually at home or behind closed doors. I try not to say it when out in public.

This. Also with the other "f" word, never in a million years would I use that in public. Never. It scares me to thing the children these days thinks its ok to use these words. 

Considering the official term is "mental retardation"...I don't think the term is going to go anywhere anytime soon.  It is medical/psychiatric lingo.

People use "retard" the same way they use "gay" as common speech but generally not as an insult against people who have mental retardation or people who are gay. (this is excluding those who use them in terms of slander and persecution against those people truly affected by mental retardation and those people who are gay, I am solely talking about people who "innocently" use terms that they hear and have no malicious intent behind their use towards people who are truly affected)

PKW:

Considering the official term is "mental retardation"...I don't think the term is going to go anywhere anytime soon.  It is medical/psychiatric lingo.

People use "retard" the same way they use "gay" as common speech but generally not as an insult against people who have mental retardation or people who are gay. (this is excluding those who use them in terms of slander and persecution against those people truly affected by mental retardation and those people who are gay, I am solely talking about people who "innocently" use terms that they hear and have no malicious intent behind their use towards people who are truly affected)

If I understood correctly yesterday the medical profession is starting to go away from using that term as well. I think it's a handicap now not a retardation.

JarednCala:

tilden2:

FormerlyGood:

On another note, I was at a movie a few weeks ago and heard someone use the "F" word (not F**K, the other demeaning "f" word) out loud in his normal voice. I was SHOCKED that someone would say that word in public, at a crowded movie theater. It made me sad for him.

This happened to me at the Giants game last Friday.  The LGBT Band did the national anthem (very well, I might add!) but the kid standing next to me yelled out "f-gs" as soon as they were announced.  I looked at him and said "Excuse yourself!", which he did but only because I was giving my best "how dare you" look.  Afterwards, I said I hope you're not going to do anything like that again and he gave me this look.

Later on he switched seats with the person he was with, but then he started throwing peanut shells at me.  He was maybe 15 or 16 but it made me think about that part of society that still teaches racism and intolerance.  As a country, we're really not as civilized as we think we are. :(

Good for you for saying something!

Sacha Baron Cohen talked about this on his interview on Fresh Air before playing Bruno... about how the one stereotype or prejudice or 'ism' that is acceptable still or considered ok in our society is homophobia ... I would have been livid. Good for for saying something.

wabadee1:

PKW:

Considering the official term is "mental retardation"...I don't think the term is going to go anywhere anytime soon.  It is medical/psychiatric lingo.

People use "retard" the same way they use "gay" as common speech but generally not as an insult against people who have mental retardation or people who are gay. (this is excluding those who use them in terms of slander and persecution against those people truly affected by mental retardation and those people who are gay, I am solely talking about people who "innocently" use terms that they hear and have no malicious intent behind their use towards people who are truly affected)

If I understood correctly yesterday the medical profession is starting to go away from using that term as well. I think it's a handicap now not a retardation.

Actually, I think they're leaning more towards "disabled" or "impaired".  My DH is not blind, he's visually impaired.  That sort of thing.

PKW:

Considering the official term is "mental retardation"...I don't think the term is going to go anywhere anytime soon.  It is medical/psychiatric lingo.

People use "retard" the same way they use "gay" as common speech but generally not as an insult against people who have mental retardation or people who are gay. (this is excluding those who use them in terms of slander and persecution against those people truly affected by mental retardation and those people who are gay, I am solely talking about people who "innocently" use terms that they hear and have no malicious intent behind their use towards people who are truly affected)

Having done a lot of music, I still use retard there... but no... I usually say this is SH!T or F@cked UP! OR BLOODY STUPID! And nothing makes me more upset than when people say things are Gay. OH IT MAKES ME LIVID, and I don't' find it innocent. 

wabadee1:

PKW:

Considering the official term is "mental retardation"...I don't think the term is going to go anywhere anytime soon.  It is medical/psychiatric lingo.

People use "retard" the same way they use "gay" as common speech but generally not as an insult against people who have mental retardation or people who are gay. (this is excluding those who use them in terms of slander and persecution against those people truly affected by mental retardation and those people who are gay, I am solely talking about people who "innocently" use terms that they hear and have no malicious intent behind their use towards people who are truly affected)

If I understood correctly yesterday the medical profession is starting to go away from using that term as well. I think it's a handicap now not a retardation.

Yes in many cases they are beginning to use handicap etc instead of retardation, but they still use it as a generalization of mental handicap.

Do *I* think it is a good word?  No.  I personally do not like the word, it has negative connotation in my opinion and I try not to use it, even when speaking about a medical issue...and it does make me uncomfortable with other use the word (it got tossed around a lot when I went in for genetic testing for MM).

Roni.Cedra:

PKW:

Considering the official term is "mental retardation"...I don't think the term is going to go anywhere anytime soon.  It is medical/psychiatric lingo.

People use "retard" the same way they use "gay" as common speech but generally not as an insult against people who have mental retardation or people who are gay. (this is excluding those who use them in terms of slander and persecution against those people truly affected by mental retardation and those people who are gay, I am solely talking about people who "innocently" use terms that they hear and have no malicious intent behind their use towards people who are truly affected)

Having done a lot of music, I still use retard there... but no... I usually say this is SH!T or F@cked UP! OR BLOODY STUPID! And nothing makes me more upset than when people say things are Gay. OH IT MAKES ME LIVID, and I don't' find it innocent. 

I agree, I don't particularly like it when people say "oh that's gay" etc...but it does offend me when they mean it as a slight against homosexuals, but when it is someone who I know is not anti-gay using it in casual speech...while I do not like it...it does not move me to correct their use of it.

I probably should not have brought the homosexual conversation into it...but I thought to compare the term retard to another similarly used term (gay).  Homosexuality hits VERY close to home for me and I am a HUGE advocate of gay rights...

Mental retardation is a medical diagnosis, defined as an IQ less than 70. It is still quite valid in that sense. I do try to avoid it but it is actually graded as in mild, moderate, severe and profound. There is a very clear understanding when you write "profound mental retardation" of what is being discussed as opposed to "intellectually disabled" or "developmentally delayed". It has a benefit in communication with other providers, and obtaining services for patients. I would probably not go around saying it for fun, but it is important for parents of children with MR to understand why we are using that terminology. If someone wants to come up with a different system that is fine, but realize that people use the work "gay" all over the place too and it is still a label that many wear with pride. Just saying it's how you look at it. 

amyfelice:

Mental retardation is a medical diagnosis, defined as an IQ less than 70. It is still quite valid in that sense. I do try to avoid it but it is actually graded as in mild, moderate, severe and profound. There is a very clear understanding when you write "profound mental retardation" of what is being discussed as opposed to "intellectually disabled" or "developmentally delayed". It has a benefit in communication with other providers, and obtaining services for patients. I would probably not go around saying it for fun, but it is important for parents of children with MR to understand why we are using that terminology. If someone wants to come up with a different system that is fine, but realize that people use the work "gay" all over the place too and it is still a label that many wear with pride. Just saying it's how you look at it. 

You said it perfectly!  Man I wish I could be as eloquent as you!!!

tilden2:

This happened to me at the Giants game last Friday.  The LGBT Band did the national anthem (very well, I might add!) but the kid standing next to me yelled out "f-gs" as soon as they were announced.  I looked at him and said "Excuse yourself!", which he did but only because I was giving my best "how dare you" look.  Afterwards, I said I hope you're not going to do anything like that again and he gave me this look.

Later on he switched seats with the person he was with, but then he started throwing peanut shells at me.  He was maybe 15 or 16 but it made me think about that part of society that still teaches racism and intolerance.  As a country, we're really not as civilized as we think we are. :(

GOOD FOR YOU for speaking up! I'm proud of you!

PKW:

Roni.Cedra:

PKW:

Considering the official term is "mental retardation"...I don't think the term is going to go anywhere anytime soon.  It is medical/psychiatric lingo.

People use "retard" the same way they use "gay" as common speech but generally not as an insult against people who have mental retardation or people who are gay. (this is excluding those who use them in terms of slander and persecution against those people truly affected by mental retardation and those people who are gay, I am solely talking about people who "innocently" use terms that they hear and have no malicious intent behind their use towards people who are truly affected)

Having done a lot of music, I still use retard there... but no... I usually say this is SH!T or F@cked UP! OR BLOODY STUPID! And nothing makes me more upset than when people say things are Gay. OH IT MAKES ME LIVID, and I don't' find it innocent. 

I agree, I don't particularly like it when people say "oh that's gay" etc...but it does offend me when they mean it as a slight against homosexuals, but when it is someone who I know is not anti-gay using it in casual speech...while I do not like it...it does not move me to correct their use of it.

I probably should not have brought the homosexual conversation into it...but I thought to compare the term retard to another similarly used term (gay).  Homosexuality hits VERY close to home for me and I am a HUGE advocate of gay rights...

Same. And for me it depends on who is saying it. I have totally broken my sister of the habit... and a few of my friends... And I do agree that the two terms, while not necessarily the same, are used without thought... that it actually is mean.

I never ever ever say the word retarded.  I cringe GREATLY when other people do.  I think it's awful.  I definitely notice, and cringe when people say something is "gay" too.  I do use the words idiot and moron though...not to talk about people with disabilities...unless you count the idiots that rev their engines going 65 down my 35 MPH street as having disabilities.  B/c I use idiot and moron frequently in those cases...they're my road rage go-to words.  I never mean to offend anyone but them individually.

I've had this discussion before but I'll just recap... I've been around handicapped people a lot in my life and I don't equate the word 'retarded' with them. I use that word sometimes and it is a literal word to me (warped, busted etc), nothing to do with a person who is mentally handicapped. I understand there are people who are sensitive about it but my friends and family have never had a problem with it and understand I am not taking a dig at the physically impaired. I don't know if I'd use it in at a large gathering because people would misunderstand me but yeah, it just doesn't equate with the handicapped for me at all.

I am a social worker for children with developmental disabilities and I DO NOT use the word retarded.  It is used to diagnose people, similar to what amyfelice said.  I have met with families that call their child with mental retardation, "retarded."  Or have heard other families refer to people with developmental disabilities as retarded.  It drives me bananas!  It's similar to the 'people first' thing.  A person is a person, whether they are mentally ill or have a disability. It shouldn't be an autistic child or a schizophrenic person rather a child with autism or a person with schizophrenia.  I correct FI when he speaks like this....just my opinion....give these people some dignity.

Like Beezo and Amy, I use the word "retarded" in my job as a special education teacher.  To me, it is a word that describes a person's intellectual functioning and it should only be used in that sense.  I does not mean warped or ugly and it definitly pisses me off when people use it in that way.    There is nothing wrong with the word retarded; there is something wrong with the way people abuse the word in an incorrect and hurtful way. 

Yes, I agree, it should not be used as a term to describe anything but a person's results on an IQ test. Good way to put it. Not a "retarded person" perse, but a person who qualifies as a category of disability called mental retardation just for the purposes of school or services. 

getting back to banning words on TV and radio... just because you ban it doesn't mean that it stops existing in the world.  i think that is silly.  if you don't want your child using a word then YOU as a parent teach your child not to use it.  don't get a word banned.  that is silly

 

i never use the word retarded, but i do understand that it means "slow" by definition and just because there's a different conotation to the word doesn't make it a "bad" word perse.

 

 

When I was calling around to get information about what kind of services DS1 qualified for, in regard to his Asperger's diagnosis, one of women at the my county's Regional Center actually used that word.  I was so taken aback by it, I wasn't sure how to respond.

I agree that banning it is not going to have the intended effect. Esp if they make a big production out of banning it. The word to retard actually also means to slow down or deteriorate, not only the term for intellectual disabilities. It does bother me that ppl still say this to disparage. One thing that hasn't been mentioned that also bothers me is how ignorant ppl are about disabilities. Ppl who have cerebral palsy or other physical disabilities that effect their speech are not mentally retarded.  

All very good points!