The Nest

Find a mortgage broker - ask coworkers/friends for referrals.

Find a Real Estate Agency - research which ones offer you benefits like redfin.com offers you 50% of their commission back at closing. ZipReality does something similar.

Take a first time homebuyers class - RedFin offers them for free and many other places do also.

Start going to open houses and figuring out what you like.

I would first get a real estate agent that you feel comfortable with.  You're going to spending a lot of time with this person, so talk to several and find one you like, that has time for you, etc.  Don't be afraid to "fire" a real estate agent that doesn't work out for you.  The best way to do this, IMO, is to go to various open houses.  That will tell you a great deal about the organization, knowlegability, etc.

Next, get recommendations from your real estate agent regarding timelines, loan officers, etc.  A lot of agents are pressured to recommend an associated mortgage company, but when asked, a good agent will be happy to tell you who's worked well with her and who's been awful to work with.  Get several recommendations, including info regarding who's had lower closing costs; who's had easier times with FHA's; who's had lower interest rates; who's more willing to overlook flaws in your credit history; etc.  Obviously, ask the questions that are more likely to be relevant to you.  Choose a couple of different brokers from what your agent tells you.

Visit your favored brokers all within a 2 week period (if they're pulling Fico scores.)  Bring with you copies of your income statements (contract, if you have one, plus a few pay stubs) bring a couple of years of taxes, information about any debt you might already have, bank statements, and information regarding how much you want to be paying as a downpayment, etc.  Make sure to bring driver's licenses.  Some places will charge for an application; some won't.  You might be able to negotiate it out, or, get information about closing costs/rates/how much you'll likely pre-qualify for without having a credit score pulled. The more accurate the information you give the loan officer, the better an idea (s)he will have about how much of a loan you're likely to qualify for.

Work with your loan officer and your real estate agent.   Your loan officer will help you determine how much you can afford to buy.  Give this information to your agent.  If your agent takes you to a house you love, but it's got problems X,Y, and Z, call your loan officer and ask how this could affect the ability to obtain a mortgage. If they've been doing this job for any real length of time, the two of them have seen it all before, making them fabulous resources.

Read "Homebuying for Dummies"

I think things should go something like this:

1. Check your credit.  If there are any issues, fix them before you start trying to get approved for a mortgage.

2. If your credit's OK, get prequalified for a mortgage (this is where you tell the bank your info and they give you a prequalification letter based on what you told them; a preapproval means they actually pull your info instead of just trusting you...since this involves a hit to your credit, it's best to get preapproved/approved just once).

3. Use your prequal amount to help you start narrowing down your search for houses.  Note that you will get preapproved for a surprisingly high number.  Just because the bank wants to give you a mortgage for $400K (for example) doesn't mean that's what you have to spend.  Conventional wisdom says you can afford a mortgage 3x your annual salary (this assumes you have other debts, like a car payment and student loans).

4. Consider where you want to be, as well as things you NEED and WANT in a dwelling.  I (and most other women on this board) believe that location is most important, because it's one of a very few things that you can't change.  For example, we decided we needed the right neighborhood, a garage, a fenced yard for the dogs, less than $200K, and laundry in the house.  We wanted at least two stories (i.e. not ranch), 3 bedrooms, minor fixer-upper, historic character, no major issues, new roof, etc.  We knew we could compromise on the second list, but not the first.

5. Go to a few open houses.  We went to several in our neighborhood and it gave us a good idea of what was available.

6. Get an agent.  Ask friends for recommendations.  If you don't get any good ones, check Trulia.  We looked at the Columbus, OH boards on Trulia and contacted the agent who had answered the most questions.  We had a response from him within an hour and he was a delight to work with.  Your agent can set up an e-mail listing for you; he/she will get criteria from you (neighborhood, price, # of bedrooms, etc) and you will get automatic updates from the MLS daily of houses that meet your criteria.  Your agent will be able to guide you from this point on.

6. Seeing houses with your agent: when working with an agent, remember that he/she is super busy!  We found that we liked to take the reins a bit, so we made lists of houses we wanted to see.  Before telling our agent, we drove past them and attended open houses if possible.  We were able to rule out some of them by doing this.  Then we sent a list to the agent with the remaining houses...each one of these was a house we thought we could buy.  By doing this, we saved ourselves and our agent a lot of time.  We only ended up going out looking twice; each time we found a house to offer on (the first offer fell through).

7. Good luck!  Check these boards often; a lot of ladies here have tons of great advice and are happy to help.

I forgot the part about actually getting a mortgage.

When you make an offer, you'll include your prequal letter so the sellers know you can pay for the house if they sign your offer.  Once you have a contract in hand, you can shop for a mortgage.  Most people recommend getting a GFE (good faith estimate) from 2 brokers and a bank, or 2 banks and a broker.  We did this and were able to kind of pit them against each other to give us the best deal.  It was a LOT of work, but totally worth it.

Remember throughout all this process that it's not always easy.  We tried to keep in mind that if someone wasn't getting back to us right away, they obviously didn't want our business, and we moved on quickly.

Thanks ladies - this is helpful already! I guess I really do have to roll up my sleeves and get ready to do some checking around/question asking and research.... the 'dummies' book is on my to-buy list, and your replies just hit my printer!