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11-03-2009 at 9:27 AM
sammyjo032...
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sammyjo0320 is not online. Last active: 11-20-2009, 12:44 PMNewbie

No sex drive!

I know its pretty normal to go through this stage..but i really wish i could do something about it! I feel horrible because most of the time my husband thinks its something to do with him..when really its not..i would just much rather cuddle up than have sex. Anyone else that had/has this issue..how do you deal with it?

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11-03-2009 at 9:36 AM
riderpunk
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riderpunk is online. Last active: 11-22-2009, 3:52 PMBronze
It happens.  People go through little spats.  Are you awfully busy with work,school, taking care of everything?  What has worked for us is scheduling time to spend together and if we have sex- even better.  Makes it possible to put all our work stuff away and everything away and just focus on each other.

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11-03-2009 at 9:44 AM
bballwife7
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Good advice in pp, but in addition, what form of bc do you use? I have been on the pill forever and am finally stopping due to its impact on my sex drive.

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"The best thing to hold onto in life is each other." ~ Audrey Hepburn 
11-03-2009 at 9:45 AM
sammyjo032...
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ya know..im not terribly busy with anything. ive been like this for about 2 years! i dont know how to get out of this rutt!

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11-03-2009 at 9:52 AM
sammyjo032...
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i havent been on bc in years! so i know thats not it. i honestly dont know what it could be! but its driving me crazy! and im sure my husband doesnt enjoy it!

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11-03-2009 at 10:34 AM
riderpunk
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Have you talked to your Doctor about this?  Could be hormonal issue.  I would ask for my hormones to be checked. Any other issues or life changes?  Anything can effect your drive.  Just keep up the communication with your husband no matter what happens.

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11-03-2009 at 11:02 AM
sammyjo032...
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sammyjo0320 is not online. Last active: 11-20-2009, 12:44 PMNewbie

I have talked to my doctor, it was a while ago though. All she told me was to try toys. We tried that, it made it exciting for a while and then quickly died down again!


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11-03-2009 at 12:38 PM
riderpunk
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sammyjo0320:

I have talked to my doctor, it was a while ago though. All she told me was to try toys. We tried that, it made it exciting for a while and then quickly died down again!

I would suggest trying another doctor to check off there isn't something else going on.  After you have checked that and can prove its not that, maybe some wine, massage,try the toys, sex swing is really fun.  Are you sure there is nothing mentally blocking you?  As women we tend to keep everything in our mind and it can effect everything.  Wine might help this if this is the case. 


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11-03-2009 at 1:54 PM
sammyjo032...
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sammyjo0320 is not online. Last active: 11-20-2009, 12:44 PMNewbie
In all honesty..there are things from my childhood/past that could potentially affect my sex life. But when i sit down and think about it i dont "feel" like thats the problem. (if that makes any sense at all?) Times when he'll try and grab my butt or something (more so boobs) its almost like i immediately slap him away like its wrong for him to do! i dont get it! :( you would think im repulsed by him but i am 100% not!

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11-03-2009 at 2:02 PM
kristin319...
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kristin3194 is not online. Last active: 11-19-2009, 3:24 PMNewbie
I am the EXACT same way. I have absolutly so desire to have sex. I hate it, I do not want to be this way but I do not know what to do to make it better. We have not been married long at all I should not be like this....


 
11-03-2009 at 2:55 PM
sammyjo032...
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Was it that way before you got married? Even on our honeymoon, i wanted it for the first day or 2 and then after that i didnt want to do it anymore! Thats the one time you should want to! How do you handle it? Do you just suck it up and do it anyway to make your husband happy or do you tell him no?

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11-03-2009 at 3:13 PM
riderpunk
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Have you tried other things then just regular sex, like oral to get you going?  I know most times I don't even want to think about it since I am so busy, helps start things off.

 


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11-03-2009 at 3:38 PM
sammyjo032...
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sammyjo0320 is not online. Last active: 11-20-2009, 12:44 PMNewbie

Once again..i think i have issues because i dont even really care for that! I dont want to do it or receive it most of the time. He loves getting it but i hate giving it!


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11-03-2009 at 6:35 PM
riderpunk
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Definitely seek help and don't stop with just one doctors opinion. Your rather young to be having these issues already.  Keep up the communication with your husband and maybe seek counseling for the two of you.  This is something that can effect your marriage completely so don't wait too long to seek help.  Good luck.

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11-03-2009 at 9:15 PM
jmc600
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11-03-2009 at 10:32 PM
Fineleo31
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I was there not too long ago. I needed a change of perspective about sex. Change things up. Sometimes you have to power through it. You need to find something that turns you on and focus on it. And keep making sure your husband feels comfortable with the fact that it happens sometimes.

 
11-04-2009 at 8:19 AM
sammyjo032...
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sammyjo0320 is not online. Last active: 11-20-2009, 12:44 PMNewbie
Thanks ladies. I really appriciate it.

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11-04-2009 at 10:56 AM
brighteyes...
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brighteyes888 is not online. Last active: 11-11-2009, 10:47 AMNewbie
I think when you don't do it for a long time... for women...they don't feel like it anymore really. I think once you get in the mood you will be in the mood...Because its been so long maybe you aren't really interested anymore?







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11-04-2009 at 11:33 AM
sammyjo032...
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sammyjo0320 is not online. Last active: 11-20-2009, 12:44 PMNewbie
Its possible. The only time i actually find myself in the mood is right after my period. But other than that...nothin!

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