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I literally laughed so hard my co-worker laughed at me! I was wheezing, I kid you not. DH does just about everything except the shampoo mohawk (he's bald!) and the peeing in the shower (gross!)Enjoy! This is long, but I promise you will laugh
Man vs. Woman: The ShowerPart I: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMANTake off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper accordingto lights and darks.Walk to bathroom wearing a long dressing gown. If you see husbandalong the way, cover up any exposed areas.Look at your womanly physique in the mirror and make mental note to domore sit ups, leg lifts, etc.Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah,wide loofah and pumice stone.Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 addedvitamins.Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner.Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes untilred.Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.Shave armpits and legs.Rinse conditioner of hair.Turn off shower.Squeegee off all wet surfaces in the shower.Spray mold spots with Tilex.Get out of shower.Dry with towel the size of a small country.Wrap hair in super absorbent towel..Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.Part II: HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MANTake off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave themin a pile.Walk naked to the bathroom. If you see wife along with way, shakewiener at her while making the woo-woo sound.Look at your manly physique in the mirror. Admire the size of yourwiener and scratch your ass.Get in the shower.Wash your face.Wash your armpits.Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse the snot off.Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.Spend majority of ti me washing privates and surrounding area.Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.Wash your hair. Make a shampoo mohawk.Pee.Rinse off and get out of the shower.Partially dry off.Fail to notice water on floor because the curtain was hanging out ofthe tub the whole time.Admire wiener size in mirror again.Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on the floor, light and fan on.Return to bedroom with towel around the waist.If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make thewoo-woo sound again.Throw wet towel on her pillow.
DH called me and said 'woo woo' in the midst of me laughing my heart out.
Why do they ALL do this? Where do they learn this? So funny.
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