there are some lovely places in brooklyn, queens and westchester that may be perfect for you. close to the city (short subway or train or ferry), lots to walk to, dog friendly, etc.. also in nassau county (think 15 minminimum ute train ride from manhattan) you have garden city, merrick, long beach etc.. tons of places iwth great towns. suburbs yes-but not your typical tract housing with mini malls. quite the oppisite. cute towns, lots to do and close to everything. i'm not sure what your budget is though........my town is also gorgeous and has TONS of great restaurants, shops, harbor etc.. it's about a 50minute train ride to manhattan. 40 mins driving if traffic allows.

although i dont know how you'll avoid huge thunderstorms.............we have some great summer ones!

Greenville, SC has a lot of your criteria.  It's my hometown, so I'm a little biased.  It's very European (Michelin and BMW are both there) and has a great downtown/cafe culture.  It's located in the foothills of the mountains and it's also only about 3 1/2 hours to the beach, so completely doable on both fronts.  You're also not far from Atlanta or Charlotte. 

Oh.  And we have a waterfall smack in the middle of downtown. 

The town that rocked a nation, Philadelphia, PA - The Hooters

Philly, it loves you back!!

I love Philly!!!

We have an ACTUAL downtown in the middle of downtown, uninterrupted by inconveniently placed waterfalls!!

laptopprancer:

We have an ACTUAL downtown in the middle of downtown, uninterrupted by inconveniently placed waterfalls!!

Suck it, LTP.  You're just jealousE.

(I kid)

But seriously.  It's pretty awesome.

i think DC would have everything you're looking for. you could live in arlington or alexandria, virginia - more affordable, more space, and a little less city without feeling too suburaban (and still very close to DC)

boston & providence (RI) might also be worth looking into (i grew up between these two cities so they've never been in the running for me because my family drives me nuts when i live neaby. loved growing up there and love to visit) 

San Diego is a city without the big city feel.  It's extremely dog friendly, with dog beaches, parks and many restaurants that allow dogs on the patios. 

We have a ton of restaurants/shops we can walk to from our place, as we live near the downtown area.  Some of the best museums are just a few blocks away in Balboa Park.  

The downside? This is a military town, not much diversity and public transportation sucks for the most part, so you'd definitely need a car to get around.  And then there's the cost of living. Recent polls showed that San Diego's COL is 33% higher than the national average.  But we have some great beaches and pretty awesome weather most of the time, so it all evens out in the long run.   

Also, check out this recent poll of the best and worst places to live. NYC is rated #1 best and worst, while San Diego is the 2nd best, didn't even score on the worst. 

http://www.harrisinteractive.com/vault/HI-Harris-Poll-Favorite-Cities-2010-10-20-2010.pdf 

sabae:

I think Boston fits all of your criteria (although it may be a bit expensive to buy).  I was also going to say Minneapolis/St.Paul until you mention thunder storms (I love thunder storms).

I was also thinking the Boston area.  It's a little pricey, but one of my favorite places in the world!

Eriksgal:

Boulder, CO fits your criteria to a T. 

Except for the thunderstorms! lol. We've looked, and will probably look again because there is an Army aviation unit there (FI flies helicopters part time). 

kimnelson09:

laptopprancer:

We have an ACTUAL downtown in the middle of downtown, uninterrupted by inconveniently placed waterfalls!!

Suck it, LTP.  You're just jealousE.

(I kid)

But seriously.  It's pretty awesome.

I keed I keed, I read all about Greenville recently in one of my USAirways in flight magazines.  It looks nice.

misscarolb:

Thanks for all the ideas. Anyone have any that aren't in the top 10 major cities in the US? I've looked into all the major cities, but was hoping for some suggestions of places I might have overlooked?!

I think having good public transportation is a very strong constraint.  I'm trying to think of smaller cities/towns with good public transportation, and I'm coming up blank.  If you can let go of that criterion, I'm sure you'll have a lot more options.

sabae:

misscarolb:

Thanks for all the ideas. Anyone have any that aren't in the top 10 major cities in the US? I've looked into all the major cities, but was hoping for some suggestions of places I might have overlooked?!

I think having good public transportation is a very strong constraint.  I'm trying to think of smaller cities/towns with good public transportation, and I'm coming up blank.  If you can let go of that criterion, I'm sure you'll have a lot more options.

My criteria is definitely just a starting point, I know we'll have to make compromises so if anyone has cities that are awesome but don't have great public trans I'll take a look!! (although, somewhere with a bus/train that runs to the nearest larger city would be perfect - a girl can dream) 

Austin, TX. 

We lived in Henderson, NV for a while & it was nice. It's right outside Las Vegas, but feels more family friendly.

alithebride:

there are some lovely places in brooklyn, queens and westchester that may be perfect for you. close to the city (short subway or train or ferry), lots to walk to, dog friendly, etc.. also in nassau county (think 15 minminimum ute train ride from manhattan) you have garden city, merrick, long beach etc.. tons of places iwth great towns. suburbs yes-but not your typical tract housing with mini malls. quite the oppisite. cute towns, lots to do and close to everything. i'm not sure what your budget is though........my town is also gorgeous and has TONS of great restaurants, shops, harbor etc.. it's about a 50minute train ride to manhattan. 40 mins driving if traffic allows.

although i dont know how you'll avoid huge thunderstorms.............we have some great summer ones!

I'd love to know more about that area. I've been to Manhattan once (and also stayed with a friend's family somewhere near White Plains) so I don't know much of anything.  

misscarolb:

Thanks for all the ideas. Anyone have any that aren't in the top 10 major cities in the US? I've looked into all the major cities, but was hoping for some suggestions of places I might have overlooked?!

many of the places i listed are near nyc but not part of it.

Pittsburgh.  There's a neighborhood called Shadyside that fits every one of your criteria.  http://pittsburgh.about.com/od/neighborhoods/p/shadyside.htm

The cost of living is amazingly low in "The Burgh", but salaries are generally high for professionals.

In the last few years they've converted a bunch of downtown manufacturing bldgs into modern loft condos/apts -- even the old Heinz plant has some lofts now.

dpdw:

Pittsburgh.  There's a neighborhood called Shadyside that fits every one of your criteria.  http://pittsburgh.about.com/od/neighborhoods/p/shadyside.htm

The cost of living is amazingly low in "The Burgh", but salaries are generally high for professionals.

In the last few years they've converted a bunch of downtown manufacturing bldgs into modern loft condos/apts -- even the old Heinz plant has some lofts now.

Pittsburgh came to mind for me as well....DH and I have actually tossed around the idea of relocating there in a few years.