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03-13-2012 at 10:56 AM
NewlyWeds1...
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Things that get under your skin...

almost everyone has certain things that while not a big deal just get under their skin (or at least I certainly do) :)  

I was talking to my husband about if and how he responds when someone you care about continually (unknowingly) presses these buttons.   He said he usually just does nothing and gets over it.

That is what I have been doing for years as well... but for some reason something that my MIL and nanny are saying is just bothering me so much that the more I ignore it, the more it is making me upset (and it seems like a waste of time to worry about something that I know would make me feel better if I asked them to stop saying it).

It is petty... they are not going to understand why it bothers me (as it does not bother 99.9% of other people in the world)... so I feel stupid saying anything.

SO...  if you have a unique hot button issue... have you ever told someone what they were saying bothers you and how did you do it in a nice way that did not offend them (but made them stop)?
 
03-13-2012 at 11:12 AM
noodle_oo
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It depends what it is.  Can you share?
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03-13-2012 at 11:15 AM
Ashley&Sco...
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If it's a rare occurrence I would probably ignore it.

If it happens regularly I would address it.

What are they saying, maybe we can help you. 


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03-13-2012 at 11:22 AM
hannamarin
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This is a lame example, but my Mom always used to say "awesome" and she sounded so ridiculous. One day, I told her. She stopped with no hard feelings. 
 
03-13-2012 at 11:24 AM
Sunshine+L...
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It annoys me when my sis says "Holla", now I just luagh when she says it. (Mostly via text).

But if you are talking about something offensive, that is a diff situation.

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03-13-2012 at 11:28 AM
itsstillme
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I have a really petty one especially because *I think* anyway, most people are saying it as a compliment but it just really bothers me. I am pregnant, this is the third and it's happened with all three pregnancies. I am tall and I have a very long torso so there is a lot of room for the baby to spread out but I am so sick of every time I see my MIL she says "you barely look pregnant!" one of my friends does it too and like I said I feel like they think it's a compliment but honestly it bothers the f out of me. I DO look pregnant, I usually don't have this giant gut thank you very much! I did say something to my friend about it because I could not take it anymore. I didn't make a big deal out of it I just said you have to stop saying that- you're giving me a complex about it!
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03-13-2012 at 11:31 AM
cinderin
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It really bothers me when people rub cotton socks (on their feet) on the floor. It makes a noise that is like nails on a chalk board to me (I have physical symptoms like Goosebumps and shivers). My close family and BFFs know about it and will stop doing it around me (or take off the socks). For everyone else I just suck-it-up, because that is a super weird thing to have to explain and makes me look like I am a nut.
"How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls Anniversary
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03-13-2012 at 11:36 AM
emiliemadi...
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DH (who otherwise has lovely table manners) has an annoying habit of slurping really hot coffee so that it doesn't burn him. But,  he continues to slurp sometimes even when the coffee is clearly not too hot any more. I tried to ignore it but finally I snapped and said "Jesus! Do you HAVE to slurp like that??"  It didnt go over well. He still does it, and I'm sure it's probably just to spite me. So I very loudly and passive aggressively slurp mine, too, hoping that it annoys him. I dont think it does, so the only result is that I sometimes choke on it while I slurp. 
 
03-13-2012 at 11:42 AM
forcuatro
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I try REALLY hard not to say something because I hate to offend people.  Unfortunately, I will succumb to PMS or whatever you want to blame it on, and sometimes I lose my filter and out comes the info that I didn't want to share.
 
03-13-2012 at 11:50 AM
Sue_sue
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I generally say something like "you know, I'm a complete dork, but that thing where you slurp your coffee/ rub your feet like that on the floor/keep strangling our cats just drives me nuts. I know, I know, I'm the sensitive one here; can you PLEASE try not to do that around me if you can??? I know I'm an assshole" and usually I'll get a "oh, I didn't know that bothered you" or "I didn't realize it came off like that" or whatever and they'll try to stop, which will only work part way but will at least make me feel better.

 
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03-13-2012 at 3:37 PM
hannamarin
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you should say something .   explain that you worry about him being short and dont want him to get a complex

maybe if you call him something cute, they will pick it up?
 
03-13-2012 at 3:39 PM
itsstillme
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I think you should say something. I don't think it's unreasonable to say you that you are sensitive about your height and you don't want ds to pick up on that as well and could they stop calling him that
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03-13-2012 at 4:36 PM
NewlyWeds1...
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I decided to delete my response... but yes, it is a comment they make about my son's height.

I took it off, just in case my SIL (who I think is on these boards) reads this:) 

 
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