That registry stuff is crazy!  I've never registered, but I like to think if I did I would've registered for a range of items with all different kinsd of prices.

I agree with you on the honeymoon thing, but I think I've been in Spanish culture too much.  I like just going to a wedding with a wad of cash and forking it over.  Seems easier to me.  ;)  Also, we probably wouldn't have been able to invite all the people we did if that weren't the custom and weddings should be all about celebrating with family and friends -- not getting stuff (imo).

My FFFC:  The other day I was feeding Aurelia on the boppy and nesting on my phone (the usual).  I dropped my phone on her ear and she started screaming and screaming.  I felt so, so bad and then I noticed that the place I dropped it (the outside of her ear, not the inside) was busted open and bleeding a tiny bit.  I seriously felt like such a bad mother, but no real harm was done luckily.  Later I dropped the phone on my own face to see if it hurt (really, I did!) and it did indeed hurt somewhat so I can see why she was screaming so much.  Poor thing.

My other FFFC: Since we are living with the ILs until we leave instead of arguing with some things my ILs say I just ignore it and don't answer or act like I'm busy reading something important or DD needs me, etc.  I am fed up with trying to defend or explain certain things I do so I figure it looks better for me to just be ignoring what they say than for me to be arguing/disagreeing all the time.   

I've never even seen an Australian $100 bill in person. 

I am having a hard time identifying with the parents of DD's peers who have live-in help. Yesterday, we went to a playdate where the nanny AND the cook live-in with the family. And none of the parents were around for the play date, even though the mom had totally sought me out to invite me over (silly me thought she was seeking me out as a friend).

I had all these weird feelings about it. I don't know if they were judgment or pining for more help myself or bewilderment at a life where this is just normal and expected or what.

Maybe all of that isn't flameful, but I did come home and google-stalk the parents to figure out why they have such a lifestyle. My curiosity was more than satisfied to find out they're a big deal in the French fashion industry. But I still feel kind of "dirty" for now knowing all of this.

I have two:

1) I just fed Quint Easter Candy & Cool Ranch Doritios for breakfast.

2) Yesterday I was driving through a section of town I don't often frequent and saw a Steak & Shake.  We had just had lunch so I didn't stop but I can't stop thinking about it and will probably force my husband to go there for lunch tomorrow :)

anna7602:

I am having a hard time identifying with the parents of DD's peers who have live-in help. Yesterday, we went to a playdate where the nanny AND the cook live-in with the family. And none of the parents were around for the play date, even though the mom had totally sought me out to invite me over (silly me thought she was seeking me out as a friend).

I had all these weird feelings about it. I don't know if they were judgment or pining for more help myself or bewilderment at a life where this is just normal and expected or what.

Maybe all of that isn't flameful, but I did come home and google-stalk the parents to figure out why they have such a lifestyle. My curiosity was more than satisfied to find out they're a big deal in the French fashion industry. But I still feel kind of "dirty" for now knowing all of this.

I had a similar situation about a week ago!  A mom sought me out on meetup.  She just moved to Madrid and I went over to her house.  She has two kids under 2, but I felt very awkward when her live-innanny was there the whole time, was asked to bring me water, and especially when the nanny got her youngest to sleep then transfered her to the mom's arms.  Kind of seemed like nanny is there for the hard stuff, but mom gets to enjoy the sweet moments.

I also couldn't decide if I was being judgy judgy or if I was secretly jealous of the fact that we won't have help like that now or when we have our next. 

myblueangel19:

I have a friend who posts pics of her baby all the time...it is one weird looking baby! I feel bad for saying that the baby is freaky looking, but it is! hopefully she will grow out of it.

*crosses fingers that it's not one of my babies*

I'm irrationally upset at DH because today he went out and bought the girls a teeter totter, a bubble machine and a golf set and though he sent me videos of them playing with their new stuff, he didn't wait until I got home for them to play with it for the first time.

I suck. 

LadyMadrid08:

anna7602:

I am having a hard time identifying with the parents of DD's peers who have live-in help. Yesterday, we went to a playdate where the nanny AND the cook live-in with the family. And none of the parents were around for the play date, even though the mom had totally sought me out to invite me over (silly me thought she was seeking me out as a friend).

I had all these weird feelings about it. I don't know if they were judgment or pining for more help myself or bewilderment at a life where this is just normal and expected or what.

Maybe all of that isn't flameful, but I did come home and google-stalk the parents to figure out why they have such a lifestyle. My curiosity was more than satisfied to find out they're a big deal in the French fashion industry. But I still feel kind of "dirty" for now knowing all of this.

I had a similar situation about a week ago!  A mom sought me out on meetup.  She just moved to Madrid and I went over to her house.  She has two kids under 2, but I felt very awkward when her live-innanny was there the whole time, was asked to bring me water, and especially when the nanny got her youngest to sleep then transfered her to the mom's arms.  Kind of seemed like nanny is there for the hard stuff, but mom gets to enjoy the sweet moments.

I also couldn't decide if I was being judgy judgy or if I was secretly jealous of the fact that we won't have help like that now or when we have our next. 

I know somebody like that IRL and I judge as well. But mostly because she complains all the time that being a mother is so hard and she never sees her DD. But it seems that her nanny does 99% of the work and that she spends a lot of her free time after work, shopping and hanging with friends.

 Haha! No Tofu, it isn't one of your babies :) 

Obsession:

Here is probably something super flameful but I have constantly wondered why people like annas playdate even have children.  A kid doesn't want a nanny they want mommy.

I dont think this is super flameful. I also wonder the same thing.

Obsession:

Here is probably something super flameful but I have constantly wondered why people like annas playdate even have children.  A kid doesn't want a nanny they want mommy.

I had a live in nanny. 

myblueangel19:

I have a friend who posts pics of her baby all the time...it is one weird looking baby! I feel bad for saying that the baby is freaky looking, but it is! hopefully she will grow out of it.

Do you think the parents know? I was just wondering  if mother love makes you blind to the fact.

I had to google FFC and got "fitness formula club".... I was like Errrrrr. 

Anyways, I have two flamefuls that I'm happy to let out.

1 - I have a problem with women that cater to all their SO's requests without ever questioning them. More specifically, MH's cousin (and my friend) after having been pressured  to marry her H when she got pregnant, named her first born after her H's grandfather because HE wanted it. I knew from the start she didn't like the name but she said she wasn't going to make a big deal out of it (?). Now the baby was born months ago and I haven't heard her pronounce her son's name once, not in person, not in emails, not on FB. She came up with a nickname and uses that. Naming kids after ancestors is not my cup of tea but if one likes the name then whatever. If you don't like it though WTH!

2 - I thought I had found a friend in a girl I have worked a lot with; during my wedding planning I (we) enthusiastically sent her a STD and an invitation. She ignored all wedding related communication as she did my random emails/texts ever since. I was hurt she couldn't find it in herself to drop a pre-addressed pre-stamped RSVP in the mailbox. Now we're going to get together again soon for work reasons and it's only a matter of time before the other members of the group ask me to pool X amount of $ for her wedding present... at which point I will say "I'm sorry, I can't" and savour every second of it. 

Tofumonkey:

Obsession:

Here is probably something super flameful but I have constantly wondered why people like annas playdate even have children.  A kid doesn't want a nanny they want mommy.

I had a live in nanny. 

But you are obviously hands-on with your kids.  I think what she is referring to is not the nanny so much as the distant parenting.  This woman wasn't even present for a playdate SHE instigated.  I think there's a difference between hands-on parents who have live-in help and parents who have live-in help so they don't have to be hands-on.

I have another FFFC.

I have been reading Hunger Games fanfiction this week since I read the books last week.  Lots of Peeta/Katniss love for me.  I'm such a dork.

I'm such a dork that I also found some Harry Potter fanfiction I wrote when I was 14...it's not awful, but it ain't good and for some reason I thought Draco Malfoy and Ginny Weasley would be a good couple?

That is truly embarrassing. 

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

Obsession:

Here is probably something super flameful but I have constantly wondered why people like annas playdate even have children.  A kid doesn't want a nanny they want mommy.

I had a live in nanny. 

But you are obviously hands-on with your kids.  I think what she is referring to is not the nanny so much as the distant parenting.  This woman wasn't even present for a playdate SHE instigated.  I think there's a difference between hands-on parents who have live-in help and parents who have live-in help so they don't have to be hands-on.

 

I agree with LadyMadrid. I was not trying to say that there was something wrong with  having a nanny. I just meant that I know people IRL who treat their kids like their were  some type of accessory, like a handbag. You can act like this, with or without having a nanny.

I am profoundly sad, angry and disappointed that I didn't get this job.  I feel like the first job out of grad school is what's going to set me up - or not - for life.  I can't help but be very pessimistic about my future, and having a low (or worse, no) income will make me feel like a huge burden on DBF and a complete failure in life.  My next job will set the tone for my path in life until I die.  And it terrifies me to just fail, fail, fail at it.

That's not the flameful part:

I didn't feel like I could get that off my chest with Pitt's horrible news earlier.  She had a legitimate actually life altering problem.  Mine?  Overdramatic, self pity bullsh!t.

dulcemariamar1:

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

Obsession:

Here is probably something super flameful but I have constantly wondered why people like annas playdate even have children.  A kid doesn't want a nanny they want mommy.

I had a live in nanny. 

But you are obviously hands-on with your kids.  I think what she is referring to is not the nanny so much as the distant parenting.  This woman wasn't even present for a playdate SHE instigated.  I think there's a difference between hands-on parents who have live-in help and parents who have live-in help so they don't have to be hands-on.

 

I agree with LadyMadrid. I was not trying to say that there was something wrong with  having a nanny. I just meant that I know people IRL who treat their kids like their were  some type of accessory, like a handbag. You can act like this, with or without having a nanny.

I knew you were going to say that tofu :). I meant two working parents that outsource parenting.  Not a working mom, sand, and just need a bit of extra help.  I mean two parents who work a total of 160 hours a week and never see their kids.

Obsession:

dulcemariamar1:

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

Obsession:

Here is probably something super flameful but I have constantly wondered why people like annas playdate even have children.  A kid doesn't want a nanny they want mommy.

I had a live in nanny. 

But you are obviously hands-on with your kids.  I think what she is referring to is not the nanny so much as the distant parenting.  This woman wasn't even present for a playdate SHE instigated.  I think there's a difference between hands-on parents who have live-in help and parents who have live-in help so they don't have to be hands-on.

 

I agree with LadyMadrid. I was not trying to say that there was something wrong with  having a nanny. I just meant that I know people IRL who treat their kids like their were  some type of accessory, like a handbag. You can act like this, with or without having a nanny.

I knew you were going to say that tofu :). I meant two working parents that outsource parenting.  Not a working mom, sand, and just need a bit of extra help.  I mean two parents who work a total of 160 hours a week and never see their kids.

 

True. However, we did have her work on Saturdays so we could have a day off... he he he... sexy Saturday mornings... he he he...

Sigh. I do miss having a nanny. And now that the kids can walk over and join us in bed there are no more sexy saturday mornings. 

wise_rita:

I am profoundly sad, angry and disappointed that I didn't get this job.  I feel like the first job out of grad school is what's going to set me up - or not - for life.  I can't help but be very pessimistic about my future, and having a low (or worse, no) income will make me feel like a huge burden on DBF and a complete failure in life.  My next job will set the tone for my path in life until I die.  And it terrifies me to just fail, fail, fail at it.

That's not the flameful part:

I didn't feel like I could get that off my chest with Pitt's horrible news earlier.  She had a legitimate actually life altering problem.  Mine?  Overdramatic, self pity bullsh!t.

First, I love penguins.

And second, please dont beat yourself up about this job. I know how you feel and I am sure a lot of people have felt the same way. I think that the time after college or grad school, is like this evil period of your life when you start to question WTF am I am doing with my life.

For like over a year, I couldnt find a job (or at least one in somewhat decent working conditions). It totally sucked to see all of my friends moving all in life and I felt bad for my DH even though he put no pressure on me and encouraged me to go back to school.

I am sure, you will find a job soon. And you are NOT a failure. Everything will work out in the end.

Tofumonkey:

Obsession:

dulcemariamar1:

LadyMadrid08:

Tofumonkey:

Obsession:

Here is probably something super flameful but I have constantly wondered why people like annas playdate even have children.  A kid doesn't want a nanny they want mommy.

I had a live in nanny. 

But you are obviously hands-on with your kids.  I think what she is referring to is not the nanny so much as the distant parenting.  This woman wasn't even present for a playdate SHE instigated.  I think there's a difference between hands-on parents who have live-in help and parents who have live-in help so they don't have to be hands-on.

 

I agree with LadyMadrid. I was not trying to say that there was something wrong with  having a nanny. I just meant that I know people IRL who treat their kids like their were  some type of accessory, like a handbag. You can act like this, with or without having a nanny.

I knew you were going to say that tofu :). I meant two working parents that outsource parenting.  Not a working mom, sand, and just need a bit of extra help.  I mean two parents who work a total of 160 hours a week and never see their kids.

 

True. However, we did have her work on Saturdays so we could have a day off... he he he... sexy Saturday mornings... he he he...

Sigh. I do miss having a nanny. And now that the kids can walk over and join us in bed there are no more sexy saturday mornings. 

Can you lock the door? Or is that just a bad idea? I guess if you hear them outside  the door, trying to get in, it could kill the mood.

dulcemariamar1:

I am sure, you will find a job soon. And you are NOT a failure. Everything will work out in the end.

Ahh, thanks.  If I have to eat cat food in old age, though, I'm going to throw "I told you so" in your face. :) 

Of course it's going to work out WiseRita. If you didn't get this job then for some reason or another, it wasn't meant for you.

Keep your chin up, and keep looking for something that you will fit into wonderfully.

Also, this doesn't have to be your career for the rest of your life, at all.

My aunt has a masters in education and was a high school principal in the states for years and years and hated it. She now lives in Florida with her boyfriend, and ex-lawyer (he hated his high stress job too) and they sell custom made salt and pepper shakers at flea markets to old people. You can make a surprisingly decent amount of money doing that, apparently. They're both very, very happy. 

Well stay tuned for my new career path, ladies!  Salt and pepper shakers, here I come!

That's awesome.  And uplifting.  Thank you, I needed that. 

I had a doctor's appointment in the middle of the day so i took the whole day off work. I did some errands and then went shopping.

I deserve it. It's my birthday today.

And I bought a new shirt, ripped off the tags so DH wouldn't notice, and will wear it tonight.