I agree with PP. But also
Seriously? A wedding is 1 day - 2 if you get crazy with it. He doesn't have enough leave for 1 day and maybe a nice 5 day honeymoon?
You can have the wedding you want (assuming you have the $$) but you'll just have to plan it without a lot of involvement from him. Are you saying you don't have the time to plan with him the way you want? That is different - it's the military life, you really just have to suck it up.
And even with him in Japan, he can still be involved in planning. My wedding planning was easily done 80% online and that was with a non-military fiance that I was living with.
If you don't have the ability to creatively think about ways that you can get around the difficulties present to you - then you may want to spend some time researching the life that military wives lead to decide if this is for you. There are literally hundreds of blogs/websites/forums out there dedicated to military wives and educating those who are about to become military wives.
If all of this sounds harsh and something you don't want to deal with - that is okay. I was in your situation and I chose that I did NOT want that kind of life for myself and my family - he wanted to be career AF and I couldn't commit to that. It was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life when we finally realized it wasn't going to work. But I got over it, and I now am looking forward to a life with my DH that we are going to build together and doesn't involve the military coming 1st in all things.