self described control freak or not, you are radiating anger and over the top protectiveness of your kids just in this online post (settle down, before you lash out at me for that think about how a judge is going to perceive you if this is how you come across just online) and this is something that may hurt you in the long run.
If you are really going to go for a TRO against your husband being alone with your children and/or taking them to visit HIS PARENTS out of state, you're going to have to come up with a bit more than him forgetting to change their diaper before putting them to bed. And what does it mean that he doesn't feed your kids before putting them to bed? I just don't view that as either active child abuse or putting your child in danger. Not feeding them for an entire day, you may have something. But forgetting a bed time snack or just forgoing dinner? Not exactly TRO worthy in my book. It's very he said she said, and he has as much right to his kids as you do. I obviously don't agree with what you are doing, but if you are going to go ahead I think you need to A: prepare yourself for a world of pain and retaliation and B: drastically strengthen your case.
But I don't have experience with temporary restraining orders against my husband because I didn't marry an assclown and continue to have children with said assclown and have deteriorated my life to your exact condition, so my opinion is invalid anyway.
Radiating anger? Hardly. A bit of sarcasm perhaps, towards people who insist they know the parenting capabilities of complete strangers.
Perhaps you should re-read my previous posts-- I said,
"I haven't actually made up my mind yet about what I'll do-- I spoke with
my lawyer and the injunction would take a week or so to go through. He
suggested that if I really have a problem with my husband taking my son
out of state, that I remove the children from our home and take them
somewhere else so that my husband cannot take them without my consent.
That is my legal right as their mother. Do I plan to do this? Unlikely.
Ultimately, I do not want to deny my husband time with our children--
what I do want is time for him to learn how to actively
parent our children before he travels halfway across the country with
them, alone. However, there is not enough time for this.
Likely, what will happen is that I will consent to let him take our
oldest for a limited period of time-- 2, maybe 3 nights. If he is to
take him, there will be a agreement reached regarding when they are
leaving, when they will return, when I may speak to my son, etc. He may
not get to stay as long as he would like & I may not get to spend
Thanksgiving with one of my children. This is how divorce goes, I guess."
That means I'm not getting the TRO. There's not enough time. Would I have done it if all of this had started a few days earlier and I could have gotten in it place? Absolutely. But there's not enough time. Will I include it when I do file? Probably.
My husband and I had a long discussion last night--- my concerns about this trip have been documented, a list of requirements was presented to him in order to have my consent (but NOT my blessing) for this trip, and an agreement was signed. If any issues come up, my lawyer will get a copy of all of this.
(BTW, he's taking our son to his sister's, not his PARENTS, where my kids have never even been before. His mother is dead and his father saw our son once when he was 6 weeks old. His family has not been involved in our children's lives what-so-ever.)
And as far as my deteriorating life, I am finally trying to do something about it by moving forward with this divorce. I married the wrong man and two beautiful boys resulted from it. I don't regret it-- my kids are the best thing that's ever happened to me. But instead of sitting back and taking his bullsh*t for another 6 years, I'm moving on. Be glad you're not in the same situation. It's not easy.