Sorry to sound like a "B" about this... but honestly, if you can't keep up with cleaning a X square foot house, then you shouldn't own it. Part of home ownership is being able to show pride in your home and take care of it. if your hubby is THAT unreasonable about pitching in, then perhaps suggesting a move back to a small apartment that you know you can keep clean might help him realize his responsibilities to his house.
that being said, it sounds like you two need to talk a bit more to resolve this....
try taking emotions and expectations completely out of it. start from square one and pretend you're both brand new at this. sit down and make a list of every chore you can think of around the house. Find ways to do them TOGETHER (or divide them up FAIRLY). also find out what each of you thinks a 'clean' house is. maybe he's fine with dishes in the sink for 3 days but you want them gone that night...? find a compromise that you both can work with.
for example, today DH and I went grocery shopping. we came home to a full dishwasher and dishes in the sink. we put away groceries together and then hubby washed the sink stuff while i emptyed the dishwasher. dishes are my least favorite chore EVER, but doing them together gave us time to talk/catch up/etc. and it made it less horrible.
another example? i hate outdoor work - especially when its cold. so hubby is taking care of the lawn/garbage/snow. i do the vacuuming and dusting. i also tend to help him with the garbage (i empty all the indoor ones into the kitchen and he takes it out)
since work schedules sound tough - maybe evenings are best for you two. say 830-10p is housework on Tues and Thurs? also -- crockpot meals for your workdays? those are pretty easy to set and forget if hubby doesn't enjoy cooking. also - put on music or a movie or something to make it more fun and engaging.
last piece of advice -- just because you married him, doesn't mean he's someone you can order around to do housework. i'm sure you feel the same way about yourself. the more you focus on compromise, and what works for BOTH of you, the more likely he'll be to follow through =)