Deciding to let the weeknight game playing slide, I began to focus all my energy and date planning for the weekends. That was going fine until his brother,from out of state, began contacting my boyfriend regularly on the weekends to play games. Now, I will say that my boyfriend is amazing and never purposefully neglects me. However, now him and I are in an awkward position: He doesn’t get the chance to play with his brother often but doesn’t want to upset me and I don’t want to intrude on brother bonding but want to spend time with my boyfriend.
When my boyfriend doesn’t play games, his brother will repeatedly text him making complaints about being neglecting until my boyfriend gives in.
I have talked to him in the past about setting up times or even days to game in advance (i.e. deciding on Thursday that they will play on Saturday) so that way I’m not caught off guard when he won’t leave the house but he said that it’s too difficult to do with his brother’s changing schedule. But now it’s affecting our relationship because he will start playing games at 5pm on Saturday until 6am Sunday and then want to sleep the rest of Sunday away or, like yesterday, he won’t go to sleep at all and then sleep through an event we had planned together.
So what’s a girl to do?
Re-read your post. If one of your best girlfriends came to you with this, what would you think?
Let me tell you that I've been in the same boat. College full time, work full time. My days started at 6am, and ended around midnight. Husband on opposite shift. Our schedules simply didn't allow us to spend any time together during the week. But weekends he was always too busy, in our case motorcycles, snowmobiles, race cars, friends, cousin. It doesn't matter, he wasn't putting our relationship first, or even in the top ten. It sucked. He refused to acknowledge it until after I left.
Not saying my experience is the exact same as yours, but I see many similarities.
He's spending more time with video games than you. Yes, it may not be a conscious thought in his head to neglect you... but he's definitely neglecting your relationship.
You shouldn't be the only one putting effort into a relationship. I'm sorry, but unless he get un-addicted to those video games, I don't think the relationship can really go anywhere.