Do you crate her while you are home? (I'm a new dog owner so not an expert and my pup is a rescue too)...our girl is big and strong but acclimated well to the crate_ she was a freaking handful in the beginning...her foster mom did a lot of work with that too..but maybe for now try to give her a really vigorous workout during the day and give her a few treats as you put him in the crate...Im hoping maybe if he's tired and drained that energy and you are there maybe he will settle and take a nap? Our girl is like a toddler, when she's tired she throws a tantrum and cant settle down, drags her bed around the house but as soon as we put her in the crate- she's asleep in 5 minutes. I think the key is to get a lot of that energy out...and reward the going into the crate with toys or treats. Try to ignore him if he doesn't settle-he will associate you freaking out with getting let out...Keep doing it little by little, feed him his meals in there so he associates the crate with good things.
I know its super tough ( and you have kid so its harder) but the exercise is key. My husband does the morning walking for our girl but he was away on a business trip this week- I am so NOT a morning person but I woke up 45 minutes early to give her a really brisk 30-45 min. walk (in the freaking cold and dark) before I left for work, that might help a ton, otherwise, ask a trainer/your vet...google away! and good luck!
Side note- we had another beast that got out of a wire crate so we ziptied the whole thing to make it more secure.