That is a tough one, and I'm sorry to hear your grammy isn't doing well. :/ My grandpa is currently in the same boat. He has a pacemaker and defibrillator, and has for years, but now his heart is only functioning at 20% and he's on oxygen more and more throughout the day now. He's lived a long life though, 87 years! It's just hard to watch his health decline...Like your grammy, he barely gets out of his chair anymore. :/

Anyway, I gave him a really nice, soft, warm blanket this year because he lives at above 4,000ft and it gets cold, not to mention he already stays colder than the normal person because of his heart. He really appreciated it. So that's one idea. We've also given him a nice neck pillow and warm, fuzzy socks before as a gift.

Another idea might be getting her something she can do without leaving her chair. Does she has a favorite movie or TV show? Or maybe a board game you can all play together?

Do you know what her interests are? What does she do when she is home all day?

One of the best gifts someone gave me was to teach me how to crochet.  Maybe you can arrange for someone to come to the house to give her lessons.  She could make things to be donated to the OBYGN ward at the hospital, or to homeless shelters.

sgautschi - I am so sorry about your grandpa! I know the feeling of watching health decline. Over the summer she fell 6 times and with her being overweight, I can't lift her. Luckily my husband is a firefighter/paramedic in town and having them come out could be done without much attention being drawn to the event. The really sad part is that she doesn't want to get better. She won't try, and she doesn't believe she can.

 I really like the idea of a nice blanket and pillow. I'm thinking a nice basket with a pillow, blanket, and some word searches. She doesn't watch movies and she's asleep most of the day and has shows that she watches every night.

 Thanks for the suggestions!

I'm sorry. It's even harder when you want them to try and they don't. I see it everyday where I work (at a cancer center) and it's really hard when you feel like you could really help them, but they want nothing to do with it. :/

My grandpa fell over the summer and was stuck in a rosebush for who knows how long until my grandma got back from the store. That was the first time he had fallen, otherwise she wouldn't have left him alone. He's really tall (6' 5"ish) so he doesn't have much center of gravity anymore. It was really scary, because he could've fallen and hit his head on the side of the house or on the concrete.

I guess I had known for a while that his health was declining, even after he fell, but I didn't realize exactly how bad things had gotten until he told me earlier this year that he wouldn't be able to make the 4 hour drive to be at my wedding. He just didn't have the strength or endurance to make it that far (car rides tire him out). And I know if there was ANY chance that he thought he could survive the trip, he would have. It was pretty heartbreaking because I lost my grandma (who I called Grammie) about 4 years ago and was already devastated that she wouldn't be there. :/ And now every time I go visit him (about every other month), he looks worse and worse each time. This last time, when I went for Thanksgiving he was pale and so skinny you could see all his bones...My grandma tries to feed him, but he's just not that interested in eating very much anymore. :/

Anyways, I'll stop making your post depressing now. I was happy that I still had two other grandparents who were able to be there, and of course the newly inherited grandparents from DH's side. :)

And I really like the basket idea you have. I think that's really creative, practical and thoughtful. I think she'll appreciate it, even if she doesn't show it. :)

I think when they start falling thats when it becomes real. Fortunately when my grammy was in her falling spell, I lived next door to her. (Until last month, I lived a less glamorous version of Khloe Kardashians life by living with my husband and brother haha) The first fall, she was down for about 9 hours. Second fall, 4 or 5. Third fall, 1 hour. Fourth fall, 30 minutes. She is very stubborn. On the second fall I got in her ass and told her she was being selfish, which seemed to do the trick. I had to take on the role that my dad played, the tough love and brutal honesty, because his sister lives 4 hours away and won't accept her responsibility of being the only living child.

She was lucky enough to make it to my wedding, but the trip was 3 minutes around the corner and the reception was in the 2 acres between her house and my dads. Had it been 4 hours, I doubt she would have made it. I could tell how hard it was for her still. It was hot out and she doesn't do well in the heat.

 No apologies needed for making the post depressing. Sometimes you just need to let it all out to someone who has the slighest idea of what you're feeling. No worries! :)

Yeah, I feel like I have been holding on to a lot of fear of losing him, and it's made my anxiety crazy high lately. I feel like I can't really vent to my parents or siblings, because it will just make them more anxious about losing him. I think it's a lot harder with him also because I still feel like I'm in shock from losing my grandma. She was in near perfect health, and had started having asthma-like symptoms early 2008, and it wasn't until about 8 months later that the doctor's finally ordered an x-ray. After realizing the inhalers weren't working... She was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer and two weeks later (the day after thanksgiving) she passed away...I was really close with her, and I am really close with the rest of my grandparents, so losing them is really hard, especially since she was the first grandparent I had lost. :/

Thanks for letting me vent. It really is nice to have someone to relate to and to get some of this off my chest. I tend to hold a lot of it in.

I totally owe you for listening. If you ever need to vent, I'm here for you. :)

Oh my gosh! I am so sorry about your grandmother! That's unbelievable that the doctors waited that long to order an xray.

 And any time! ;)