If he is pissing up money now, he always will.
Distant? Who cares about distant --- she overlooked the fact he is in a lot of debt.
I suggested that she ask him straight away how he acquired the debt and how much debt exactly he has. And if he won't fess up, run like hell right away.
I actually disagree. He's twenty, just out of college and racked up a lot of debt in a time period when he didn't have an income. I'm sure it was on stupid stuff that doesn't matter in the long run, but plenty of people learn from their mistakes. Just because he's irresponsible now doesn't mean he always will be - and I'm speaking from personal experience.
I also wouldn't be in the habit of laying my finances out there for a move-in girlfriend. Fiance? Future partner in life? Person whose finances would be tied to mine forever? Absolutely. But boyfriend? Meh. I would want to know that he could pay rent every. single. month. but I don't think he's under any obligation to disclose every bit of his debt to me.
What would matter MOST to me was that he was taking the steps to take responsibility for the debt, not the fact that he has it. Get a job waiting tables if you must, but start paying it off immediately and actively protect yourself from incurring any more. If boyfriend is not interested in that, then I think boyfriend has serious problems and breaking up with him is definitely in order.